"I know, let's make a Superbowl commercial where a guy builds a whole house out of Bud Lite! And then someone comes along and asks him if all the cans are empty and it turns out they're not! So they dismantle the house by drinking all the Bud Lite! YES! GENIUS!"
- Overpaid, untalented advertising agency executive
Can we please all stop it with the fucking Superbowl commercials? That shit hasn't been funny since Bud Bowl II. The notion that Superbowl commercials are somehow better than anything you see during a Law & Order re-run is absolutely ridiculous.
Doritos in a coffin? Another stupid-ass Budweiser Clydesdale tale? Betty White? ABE VAGODA!!?? I'm mean how stupid are we? Yes, I know, pretty stupid. I mean 'Two and a Half Men' is a hit show for crying out loud. Jay Leno makes millions. I get it, it doesn't take much to make some people laugh.
Isn't this why they invented DVR though? So I don't have to watch all that garbage anymore? And while I'm on the subject, is there anything more useless than listening to Dan Marino, Boomer Esiason, Bill Cowher and Shannon Sharpe yell at each other during halftime? GET OUTTA HERE!
As long as I have command of the clicker (meaning until they pry it from my cold, dead hand), no commercials will EVER be intentionally viewed during the Superbowl or during any other sporting event. It's not happening.
And here's another little hint for all the idiots out there that actually want to watch expensive advertisements. Listen very closely...in the highly unlikely event that there is a commercial from the Superbowl that is worth watching, YOU CAN WATCH IT ON THE INTERNET AFTER THE FACT. I know, I know, this whole Internet thing might just take off one of these days.
And finally, the Tim Tebow commercial? I know the organization that backed the advertisement has been responsible for some utterly ridiculous statements but what was the big deal with Tebow and his mother anyway? Why did he tackle her? And why did it look like they were dating at the end? I thought for a second that it was a Match.com commercial.
One of the reasons that I was forced to watch commercials last night was because when I try to execute the DVR delay, my wife constantly checks the score on her phone because she doesn't care to watch the game unfold! Even though she typically doesn't blurt out the score just knowing that she knows what's already happened annoys the crap out of me. Cripes! Due to that unfortunate circumstance I did catch the Google advertisement, which I thought was somewhat clever and compelling compared to most of the mindless BS that they trot out.
Even better than the Google commercial though? The Google commercial spoof with the Tiger Woods theme. Enjoy...
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