Bobcats Mother Bitches!

The Michigan perspective

Some of you may already be familiar with Detroit's Sports Talk Radio legend Mike Valenti. He is a Michigan State alum that is most famous for going completely postal following the Spartans' absolute meltdown against Notre Dame about five years ago. If you haven't heard that it is worth a listen, and you can find it here.

On Friday Valenti was taking some reaction from Michigan fans that had just had their guts ripped out by Evan Turner. The best part is the replay of the Michigan radio call. The podcast is only about 15 mins. long and at times hilarious.

Additionally, Eff Michigan.

Obviously the Turner shot was the best part of the game. I loved this stat that they flashed on the screen during the game though. Thad Matta and Jim Tressel are a combined 18-3 against Michigan. AWESOME.

Suck it Michigan.

Just one question...

Who is Thad Matta yelling at after the shot?

Zach G.

10,000 team basketball tournament in the works according to Jim Boeheim

Nice suit.

That's of course Syracuse Head Basketball Coach Jim Boeheim. I heard an interview with Jim a day or two ago where once again he was discussing the number of teams in the NCAA tournament. For several years now Coach Boeheim has been saying that there should be more teams in the tournament.

Given that no team seeded lower than 8th has ever won the thing, that certainly seems to make sense. Clearly what one of the best sporting events going needs is the addition of a whole bunch of other teams that have absolutely no chance of winning the thing.

Most coaches are likely in favor of an expanded tournament. Why? Because nothing gets a coach fired faster than missing the tournament.

Of course, none of the coaches will come out and say that's why they want more teams in the tourney. And so when asked, you get spectacular coach-speak from guys like Boeheim.

I heard this garbage from Boeheim on the radio a couple days ago.

"See, yesterday (Monday), Connecticut was out of the tournament, and they still may be out, but they're a team that can win games in the tournament. That's why we need an expansion," Boeheim said.

He goes on to say that because of all the automatic qualifiers, we're not actually getting the best 65 teams in the country. He's referring of course to all the mid-major conferences that get one automatic bid to the Big Dance.

Approximately half of the bids are automatic. That means the selection committee is selecting the best 32 after the automatics. Some of those automatics ARE in fact teams that are amongst the best 32 in the country.

I know the math can be painful, but the point here is that as was previously stated, no team seeded lower than 8th has ever won it. That means if you're outside of the top 32 teams, you have almost NO CHANCE of winning the whole thing. So again, Boeheim is basically saying throw a whole bunch of teams into the thing just for the hell of it.

And as for the UCONN comments. Could they win a game or maybe even two in the NCAA tournament? Of course that is possible.

What about the fact that they have been HORRIBLE this season? They have a losing record in their conference. If you're going to let a team like UCONN into the tournament based on name alone it would seem, than why have a regular season at all?

As if the NCAA basketball regular season wasn't already meaningless enough. Now you want to make it even more meaningless by essentially letting any team with a pulse into the postseason?

Why don't we do away with regular season games altogether and just hold an open tournament. Any organization with a classroom and five tall guys can get in. We'll keep playing until someone is crowned king.

They do it in soccer. How hard can it be?

ESPN dickbags

Believe it or not I'm not here to bash Tim "The Virgin Warrior" Tebow again. There'll be plenty of chances for that before, during and after the NFL Draft. After that we'll have to wait for him struggling mightily in an NFL camp and lamenting the fact that he'll likely be lining up as a TE in the pro's before we can rip him again.

In the meantime, it seems the void left by The Great and Powerful Tebow has the braintrust over at ESPN scrambling for any topical college football news whatsoever. They're probably wondering if there will even be another season. Some inquiries have likely been sent to the NCAA wondering if the sport has been outlawed in light of the Tebow departure.

Anyway, all that aside. You see the guy in the picture here?

No, no, no, not the virgin, the other guy. You know who that is right?

Me neither. And I'm guessing almost everyone outside of the Greater Gainesville, FL area is in the dark as well.

Apparently that's the heir to the Virgin Warrior's throne, John Brantley. And the fact that 99% of ESPN's loyal minions have no idea who the guy is doesn't stop The Leader from giving him the full "US Weekly treatment." You know how Tiger Woods' kids can't go to school without some "media outlet" reporting what's in their lunchboxes? It seems that's the type of attention and scrutiny Mr. Brantley has to look forward to.

John Brantley's father has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. That is unfortunate.

Why in God's name anyone, anywhere thought anyone outside of the Brantley family needed to be informed of this is beyond my comprehension. And yet there it was right on the front page of ESPN.com in between discussion of the St. Louis Rams' draft options and IOC review of the Canadian women's hockey frat party.

For fucks' sake ESPN. Would you guys please get your collective heads out of your asses and try to focus on what made you the most powerful entity in televised sports? What is the possible relevance of John Brantley's father or his prostate to anyone not named Brantley?

The Kings of Snarky over at Deadspin.com summed this all up rather well.

Tales of the Virgin Warrior

Time for more Tebow.

Here's my first question. More annoying QB, Tim Tebow or Brett Favre? I don't know the answer, I just know those two clowns seem to get more attention from ESPN and the like than anyone else on the planet.

I don't know why I get annoyed by the crawl on ESPN but I do. For those of you not familiar with the vernacular, "the crawl" is the steady stream of drivel that rolls across the bottom of the screen on any of the 37 ESPN channels. For the most part, or at least in the "old days" (whenever that was) all that you saw at the bottom of the screen were scores and stats. Apparently that wasn't good enough and in fairness, perhaps we have CNN or Bloomberg to blame for this?

I don't watch Sportscenter anymore. Stuart Scott pretty much sunk that show all on his own. I don't know why you need to watch Sportscenter anymore though given the breadth of information that is pushed across the crawl. Any remotely interesting sports news is immediately fed to the viewer via the crawl. Again, I'm not sure why I find this annoying. Probably because 90% of the "news" isn't news at all, at least in my opinion.

Did I really need to read 9,000 times on the crawl that Brett Favre had retired? No, I didn't. He hadn't retired after all you see.

Anyone, more mindless fodder rolled across the crawl yesterday. This time the pressing matter was Lord Tebow's throwing motion. "Former Florida quarterback Tim Tebow is working to change the way he holds the football and on three and five step drafts in an effort to improve his draft position."

So what you're saying ESPN is that I needed to be told IMMEDIATELY that Tim Tebow is attempting to improve his horrendous throwing motion and would like to be drafted as high as possible in the upcoming draft. Got it. Good thing you let me know or else the entire space-time continuum might have been ripped apart.

And by the way, a guy attempting to completely overhaul his throwing motion weeks before his pro day would raise great big giant red flags if I was an NFL team, which I'm not.

Speaking of Oregon football...

They're putting together quite an offseason run here. You know things are going well when the local newspaper, The Oregonian, is running the following poll on its website:

Which allegation against the Ducks troubles you most?

FIGHTING. Players allegedly involved in a brawl or retaliation for brawl. (Rob Beard, Mike Bowlin, Matt Simms)

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Player allegedly beat up girlfriend. (LaMichael James)

DRUNKEN DRIVING. Player arrested for allegedly driving under the influence. (Kiko Alonso)

INSUBORDINATION. Player dismissed after publicly challenging Chip Kelly's authority. (Jamere Holland)

THEFT. Players accused - but not charged - in stealing items from fraternity house. (Jeremiah Masoli, Garrett Embry)


Additionally, John Canzano of The Oregonian ran this column yesterday.

You don't question whether the coach has lost control of his program when the quarterback is accused of theft. Or when the star running back is charged with pushing and strangling a woman and spends the night in jail. Or when the kicker is cited for assaulting a woman.

You don't wonder whether University of Oregon coach Chip Kelly has control of his team when he goes public Friday insisting his players understand what's expected of them, and then wakes up Saturday morning to learn a linebacker has been cited for driving under the influence.

You don't question the man in command when athletes do dumb things. You don't wonder about administrative oversight when the police are regulars in the football offices. You don't ask yourself if Kelly's players respect him enough to listen to him when it appears they do not.

Hold up. You don't?

Because that feels exactly like what we should all be doing today.

I wear my sunglasses at night

A little more football fix...

The big OOC game of the upcoming season will feature the Miami Hurricanes making a trip to Columbus, OH. 'Da U was last season in their home state getting ran over by the slow and plodding Wisconsin Badgers.

I can't wait to shut those whiny clowns up.

From Bucknuts.com:

Mooning over Miami…And speaking of the 2010 season, one of the speed bumps to the obligatory national championship talk will be Da U, Miami, on September 11. In addition to the ominous date of the game, we expect a lot of pre-game hype and player comparisons. Like comparing quarterback Jacory Harris to our own recovering Terrelle Pryor. Or how good is their top RB, Graig Cooper, dinged in their bowl game loss to Wisconsin? Then there’s Miami’s terrific kicker/punter Matt Bosher and starting linebackers Jordan Futch and Ramon Buchanan as well as reserve running back Lee Chambers.

Well, the ‘Canes start their spring practice this Tuesday and all of the aforementioned will miss the spring. Harris, Cooper, Bosher, Futch, Buchanan and Chambers are all hurt and Cooper might miss the entire 2010 season. Also, O-lineman Joel Figuero and D-lineman Levi Paalua are out for the spring.

We will update you with further reports of their progress in August!

A little football fix...

Had enough curling, ski jumping and hockey?

Me neither.

C'mon it's once every four years for crying out loud. What else are you going to watch? Bullriding?

That all being said, it's never the wrong time for a little Ohio State football conversation. Collegefootballnews.com gives us the 'Ohio State Offseason Lookback & Lookaheads.' That's catchy isn't it? Here's a bit:

2009 Recap: The sky was falling, the program needed to be overhauled, and Jim Tressel had lost his touch. That was concern after the offense struggled with its consistency over the first half of the season and the Buckeyes lost a 26-18 stunner at Purdue in mid-October. And then the team caught fire as the no-name defense stepped up its play, the running game found a groove, and OSU managed to reel off six straight wins including a dominant 24-7 victory at Penn State, a thrilling overtime win over Iowa, and an easy win over Michigan before handling Oregon in the Rose Bowl. While the Purdue loss was a problem and the home loss to a mediocre USC team set the team back early on, but there’s excitement for the future with the expected emergence of Terrelle Pryor into a superstar and with a loaded defense coming back.

Looking Ahead: The Buckeyes are the far-and-away favorites to the win the 2010 Big Ten title and will be in the mix for the national title from the start. Miami is coming to Columbus, but there isn’t any USC to deal with this year. There are only two dangerous road games, Wisconsin and Iowa, but if the team really is national title-good, it needs to win those. The offense is loaded with experience and the defense should be solid once again as the tremendous recruiting classes of the last few years restock the shelves.

Why to get excited: The average fan probably can’t name a Buckeye defender, but seven starters are back from the Rose Bowl team and nine are back on offense including four linemen and everyone in the backfield. Remember, OSU had (arguably) the nation’s No. 1 recruiting class in 2009 and will get an influx of supremely talented redshirt freshmen ready to provide solid depth. Basically, if you’re waiting for the Buckeyes to slip, this isn’t going to be the year.


Also, CFN has OT Jim Cordle as the "biggest offensive loss." Jimmy seems like a nice kid, but I'm not exactly losing sleep because we won't have him back next season.

Russian Curling

Hi there.

Thanks for playing

That'll do it for the U.S. Curling team. They got punked by Canada today to finish with a 2-6 record in pool play.

The U.S. team was so bad that they even had to replace their Skip halfway into Olympic play. John Shuster (pictured) managed on multiple occasions to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Well done!

I'd say that settles it, I'm headed to the Columbus Curling Club to get ready for the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia.

Basketball apathy Part II

I read a few responses to Bob Hunter's column about apathetic OSU basketball fans and everyone has an opinion. I think you can sum up the problems fairly easily though with the following:

- I think by now it's obvious to everyone that the Science & Engineering Library on campus has more atmosphere than the Schottenstein Center (you will never ever catch me referring to it as Value City Arena because that's an utter abomination). The university wanted to attract Britney Spears and the circus so they built a cavernous sound stage instead of a basketball arena. The architecture is really bad for collegiate basketball and unfortunately that's never going to change.

- Compared to almost every other college basketball venue in the country, the student seating is an embarrassment. The infamous shot of a woman knitting while sitting courtside tells you all you need to know about Ohio State's fucked up priorities.

- Ohio State is a football school. You can bitch and moan about the BCS all you want to but the current system means that for the Buckeyes, almost every single football game has major implications. Collegiate basketball is exactly the opposite. The 65-team NCAA tournament has rendered the regular season almost completely meaningless. Watch how many of these no-show Ohio State fans are suddenly hyped for basketball when the tournament starts.

And stop complaining about one-and-done players folks. They aren't the reason you're not showing up. It might even be the opposite. There is not a single one-and-done guy on this team. How much better was the attendance when Oden and the gang were wearing scarlet and gray?

More Olympic hockey...

Forgot to mention, every four years I watch Olympic hockey and frankly, it's WAY better than NHL hockey. The larger ice makes a huge difference. It really opens things up offensively. The defenders can't just sit back and crowd the middle.

Also, I'm all for a good hockey fight now and then but there seem to be considerably fewer penalties in Olympic hockey and a lot less of the lame clutching and grabbing that slows the game down.

Watching NHL games on TV is almost unbearable. The speed does not translate at all. That is far from the case with Olympic hockey.

It's never going to happen but the NHL (particularly in light of their current status as a second-class professional league) should at least consider increasing the size of the ice.

There's no "I" in apathy

Missed this column from The Dispatch's Bob Hunter yesterday. I believe the title really sums up the problem, "OSU doing a poor job selling basketball."

The noticeable lack of support in Columbus for what has turned out to be a very good basketball team has been discussed at length on the local sports talk radio airwaves over the last few weeks. It took fourth-ranked Purdue coming to Ohio State for us to see the first sellout of the season at the Schottenstein Center. The Cleveland Plain Dealer ran this article several weeks ago, "Sharp attendance decline for men's basketball catches OSU's attention: Big Ten Insider."

From the Plain Dealer:

With a shot at the Big Ten title and a leading national player of the year candidate in Evan Turner, Ohio State is headed toward its lowest average attendance in the 12-year history of Value City Arena.

The Buckeyes are averaging 13,411 fans per game, which ranks sixth in the Big Ten and is more than 4,100 fewer fans than Ohio State averaged during its run to the Final Four three seasons ago, 2,500 fewer fans than last season. Athletic director Gene Smith said he's dumbfounded. Coach Thad Matta called it odd.

And yesterday from Bob Hunter:

One of my Ohio newspaper colleagues posed an intriguing question last Sunday at Illinois:

"If the basketball Buckeyes and the Blue Jackets were both having comparably good seasons, which one would Columbus have the most interest in?"

I hesitated. The Buckeyes seemed the most likely answer. Basketball is more mainstream than hockey, and the Ohio State brand can sell just about anything, including toilet-seat covers and hot dogs. But after that question sat there for a while, it gradually morphed into another thought:

Given the success the Ohio State men's program has enjoyed over the past 70 years, should that question even have to be asked? And why doesn't the program have more support than it does?

More from Hunter:

Whenever one of these crimes against OSU basketball is committed, we round up the usual suspects:

Ohio State is a football school. The atmosphere in Value City Arena isn't the best. The best seats are committed to seat license-holders. Many longtime ticket-buyers were treated like third-class citizens when the team moved from St. John Arena and have moved on to other things. The nonconference schedule looks like it was designed by a coach who doesn't care about the fans.

Maybe we should add two more: The athletic director looked intently at all those empty seats and determined that it was still a good idea to raise ticket prices next season. And the mentality of a growing number of football fans -- a national championship or nothing -- might have poisoned the air on the basketball side, where simply having a little success in the NCAA Tournament isn't enough.

I think that Bob Hunter and I agree on one thing for sure here. The onus is on THE SCHOOL to get butts in the seats at the Schottenstein Center and to create buzz around the basketball program. I've listened to the 'heads on the radio chastise the fans for not showing up. That's BULLSHIT. Even in a cow town like Columbus in the middle of winter there are many distractions and many ways to spend money other than at Ohio State basketball games.

A little creative thinking is obviously needed at a place used to doing and charging whatever it wants. Cheaper, not more expensive, tickets might help, especially when the ones available are two rows shy of the moon. Do whatever it takes to get more students in the building. A nonconference schedule with opponents such as Dayton, Xavier and Cincinnati would help sell season tickets and keep fans from waiting to join the season in progress in January, if at all.

Yes, Ohio State is a football school, but only a handful of colleges have a more impressive basketball tradition than OSU does.

If you can't sell this team and that tradition, then frankly, you're not trying that hard.

EXACTLY.

E-to-the-T

I have to admit whenever I watch the Buckeyes this year I get more "wow" than I do from Evan Turner. No one in the country fills up the stat sheet like he does though. From today's Columbus Dispatch:

Evan Turner was named Big Ten player of the week for the sixth time this season today, a record for the conference award. Turner shared the previous record of five with Glenn Robinson of Purdue.

It was Turner's ninth such award for his career, also a record. Two weeks ago, he broke the record of seven he shared with Robinson and former Ohio State star Jim Jackson.

Turner has been healthy for 11 of the 15 weeks the award has been given this season, so he's won it more than half the time he's had a chance.

Turner averaged 24.5 points, 8.5 rebounds and 5.5 assists in a loss to Purdue and win at Michigan State last week.

He leads the Big Ten in scoring (19.5 points per game) and rebounding (9.3) and ranks second in assists (5.77).

Impressive win for Los Buckeyes

For some reason a three-point loss to a very good Purdue team really soured me on this Ohio State team. I had ZERO confidence that the Buckeyes would win at the Breslin Center yesterday. I even had to resort to watching much of the game with no sound.

Truth-be-told, I was supposed to be doing homework at the time too. And I'm sick of these early Sunday afternoon games. Hard to get the juices flowing after 90 minutes of Charles Osgood.

Buckeyes were up early, looking impressive. The second half starts and...here we go again. Michigan State starts to come back...I've seen this movie before, most recently in Morgantown, WV.

I was wrong though. Buckeyes held on and even pulled away a bit late. The defense was a bit lax at times down the stretch but Evan Turner was a MAN (as usual) the team wasn't bad from the charity stripe when it mattered.

The Buckeyes are a game behind Purdue and tied with Michigan State in the Big Ten standings with three games left to play. Wednesday night at Penn State, Saturday at home against Fuck Michigan and then wrapping it up at home the following Wednesday against Illinois. Ohio State will definitely be favored in all those games.

Conversely, Purdue has four games remaining including at Minnesota and in West Lafayette against Michigan State. If the Buckeyes can win their remaining three they have a real shot of at least sharing the Big Ten regular season title.

Incidentally, Purdue is now #3 in the Coach's Poll and Ohio State is now #9. Clearly Purdue is playing for more than the Big Ten title at this point, they're playing for a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament.

As of today, ESPN's Joe Lundardi has OSU as a three seed in the tournament. Buckeyes could potentially move as high as a two depending on what other teams do. I would certainly be very happy with a three seed though.

Also of note, that was Ohio State's third win in their last five trips to East Lansing. Prior to that the Buckeyes had not won there in 13 years. Yikes.

And HEY! LOOK AT THAT!! MICHIGAN STATE HAS STUDENTS SURROUNDING THE FLOOR! That's just crazy, isn't it?

I think I'm going to start printing 'Raze the Schottenstein Center' shirts.

AN INTERVIEW IN MIME WITH JIM TRESSEL

After the jump...

This will never, ever, ever, ever, ever get old

The mock gator chomp is the best part...

Speaking of Curling...

The Canadian women's team lost to China yesterday.

A rough day for the Canadian Olympic team.

And this graphic

----------------->

is hilarious.

Curling Fever.

Turns out Columbus, OH has its own curling club.

I am seriously considering the two-hour beginner clinic.

I have WAAAAY too much spare time these days.

Suck it Canada

Nice win for Team USA Hockey. A 5-3 thriller with an empty-netter in the final moment to ice it (no pun intended).

U.S. goalie Ryan Miller (with the NHL's Buffalo Sabres) was utterly bad-ass, stopping 42 of 45 Canadian shots. Minutes after the third period ended, Ryan Miller's Wikipedia page had already been updated with the nickname Ryan "The Canada Killer" Miller.

The good guys finished pool play with the number one overall seed heading into elimination game. They'll have a first round bye.

The U.S. had not beaten Canada in Olympic play since 1960.

Coincidentally, 30 years ago today, the United States hockey team defeated the Soviet Union in the 'Miracle on Ice'.

For what it's worth...

From the Columbus Dispatch's Bob Hunter:

More fodder for those skeptical of recruiting "experts": ESPN ranked Ohio State's 2007 football class No. 20 in the nation and Iowa at No. 24. Now, SI.com's Andy Staples has re-ranked the classes based on the players' contributions. He moved up Ohio State to fifth and made Iowa eighth.

The Run-up to the Great Big Nothing

The Great Big Nothing

Tiger will speak!

Who gives a shit?

Why people are clamoring to see Tiger Woods is beyond me. Want to know? Look at the picture to the right. That's what you're going to see, except without the hat.

I'm not sure why people think Tiger Woods is going to look different or sound different or smell different. He won't.

And by the way, even and enraged, embarrassed wife ninety-nine times out of 100 is not going to bash her jack-ass husband in the face with a golf club. Now consider also that Tiger is the ultimate "meal ticket". Again, I don't care how pissed you are, you don't play homerun derby with the golden goose's face.

This will be the ultimate ESPN event. The din of the "coverage" will be 10X louder than any noise actually made by Tiger.

I want to apologize to my wife, my children and my family for my indiscretions. I also want to apologize to my fans and my sponsors.

I hope to put this behind me and move on with my life.

That's about it folks. Now watch all the 'heads analyze the shit out of those three sentences.

The notion that Tiger Woods needs to "get it over with" and answer questions or whatever is ludicrous. He really doesn't have to do shit. All he has to do is get back on the golf course and start kicking some ass again. And he will. He was the best golfer in the world when he was juggling 15 chicks at a time. How good do you think his game will be when isn't dealing with a harem?

The only thing that would be remotely interesting to hear Tiger say tomorrow is that he's going to get back to pro golfing soon. My guess is he won't be gone long. What's he going to do instead? Sit around getting glared at by his wife?

Score one for the Winter Olympics

From the Associated Press:

With the trio leading a record haul of six medals for the Americans, NBC's telecast of the Olympics clobbered Fox's "American Idol" in television ratings Wednesday night.

During the hour that the two shows went head-to-head, the Olympics were seen by 30.1 million people while 18.4 million watched "American Idol," the Nielsen Co. said.

It was the first time any show has beaten "American Idol" since May 2004, when a special Monday edition was topped by NBC's "Fear Factor." With the exception of one "Idol Gives Back" special in 2008, it was the least-seen episode of "American Idol" since 2003.

And while Lindsey Vonn is hanging out here at Level 6, I should point out that downhill skiing at the Olympic level is one of the most bad-ass sporting events there is, PERIOD. Personally I think at that level is really all about balls. Great big giant balls. There's not much technique when you're hurtling down the mountain at 80 MPH.

These guys are nuts.

And for pure lunacy, there's always speed skiing. Point yourself straight down the mountain, put on a stupid-looking helmet and take off. Watch this guy wipe:

This douchebag...

Speaking of The Lantern, here's another story. To me, this is the guy that gives Ohio State fans a bad name worldwide. I mean look at this dude.

Who would have guessed that when he's not dressed up as an a-hole he's a computer supply salesman?

I would have.

What I wouldn't have guessed however is that John Chubb (that's his name) once pulled two people from a burning car that had crashed. He apparently spends a lot of time with charitable organizations and also reads to underprivileged children. So he only LOOKS like a jerk-off.

Oh, and he ruined a 1970 Chevy Impala too:

Chubb goes to every home and away game, dressed up in full outfit to represent the Buckeyes. He even transformed a 1970 Chevy Impala into the “Buck-I-Guy Mobile.”

The car took him 10 years to totally restore and customize. It is a convertible with a custom Buckeye interior, custom tires, axles and footballs with the letter “B” on the wheels. He drives it to the home games and local events.

Did you know?

Ohio State has its own dodgeball team? Complete with uniforms, practices and trips to other universities for competitions.

Ridiculous? Of course. I guess that's better than smoking doobies all day. Then again I don't think there's anything to indicate that the two are mutually exclusive (dope and dodgeball).

The good news is this is a club sport which means these clowns have to raise all their own money. No, taxpayer dollars are not shipping a bunch of guys around the country to play dodgeball. Should these guys be trying to get laid or something anyway?

Watch the guy get smoked in the face ten seconds in...

Pur-don't?

Wrong. Purdue.

Buckeyes looked a bit meek last night. The Boilermakers did what they wanted to for most of the game and won 60-57 with Jon Diebler missing a lame attempt at the buzzer.

Frankly, Ohio State was lucky it was that close. They were down by ten at some points during the game and it seemed like Purdue could run away with it at times.

The good news? Even with a lot of snow on the ground and an early tip (6:30) the fans showed up and produced what may have been the first sellout of the season.

Thad Matta better figure something out because the toughest test of the remaining regular season is this Sunday, noon, at East Lansing.

On a related note, The Ohio State University student newspaper, The Lanter, ran a feature today called 'A Day in the Life of Evan Turner'. Here's the highlight:

In fact, Turner said before this season that the one qualm he had about returning for his junior year was the nightly dose of reading, writing and thinking.

Thinking? Apparently that's optional for NBA players.

The Ohio State University...

...is closed today for only the seventh time in the last 30 years due to additional snow.

More snow expected tonight and tomorrow. I do not anticipate the crowd for the Ohio State-Purdue game tomorrow night will be record-setting.

O-H-I-O

BEAT DOWN!

Buckeyes WAXED the Illinois yesterday afternoon in Champaign, 72-53. It was the worst home loss for Illinois since 1976. Suck it Trebek!

Ohio State now tied for first place in the Big Ten with Michigan State. Two critical games coming up, at home Wednesday against #6 Purdon't and then Sunday at Michigan State.

The Buckeyes' peformance moved them up to #9 in the latest AP Poll.

That's right Ernie

Keep fuckin' that chicken indeed.

If you want to find out what the hell Ernie is talking about, read up on Frank Perdue, the namesake of Perdue Chicken.

Eddie the Eagle

Whatever happened to this clown?

If you're not familiar with Eddie, let Wikipedia do the heavy lifting.

Why doesn't the Olympics let slow adults participate in ski jumping anymore?

Here's the video

If you are in need of noise pollution here's the official 'We Are the World' remake video.

You've been warned.

I watched it again.

He still missed.

S-T-F-U

Holy shit. Did you catch that garbage? I was just subjected to the "We Are the World" remake. My ears are bleeding. What a fucking abomination.

Lil' Wayne and T-Pain? Are you kidding me? Isn't Mr. Wayne going to jail in about ten minutes?

I get it, it's for Haitian relief which I'm all for. Do we have to take everything that was once good, remake it and turn it into some pile of plastic crap? For fuck's sake people.

As an example, here's one thing I never EVER want anyone to attempt again. You are never going to improve on a bubble gum commercial featuring people skiing. It won't happen.

"I'm Richie Cunningham and this is my wife, Oprah."

My better half pointed this one out, I swear.

Superbowl MVP Drew Brees showed up on Oprah and uncomfortableness ensued.

Watch Mr. Winfrey attempt to rub the birthmark off of Drew Brees' face. Priceless.

Huh?

Can someone please explain to me what the big deal is with Danica Patrick?

I get it, she's hot...for a dude.

Yes, I'd rather look at her than some ass-hat like Tony Stewart in their stupid racing suits. Give it up already though. She even talks like a dude.

And hey ESPN! Did you know she's not even participating in the Daytona 500? She's driving in some Grapefruit League race that no one on the planet gives a shit about.

And while I'm at it, those GoDaddy.com commercials are fucking stupid too.

As you were...

The Weekend

First off, how's this for a cheesy graphic? There will be no tennis, baseball or volleyball mentioned in this post by the way. Deal with it.

Anyway, quite a weekend we've got going here.

I'll start with the Columbus Bluejackets, who blew a 3-2 lead at the start of the third period last night and lost 4-3 to Vancouver. The winning goal coincidentally was assisted by former Ohio State University hockey player Ryan Kesler. It was a bullshit goal that floated over goalie Steve Mason's head after being deflected and trickled into the net. Then again, the 'Jackets whole season has been bullshit. Bob Hunter of the Columbus Dispatch has labeled new head coach Claude Noel "quirky".

That may be the last time I ever mention the Columbus Bluejackets.

Sticking with pro teams in Ohio, the Cavs of course are not playing this weekend due to the All-Star break. They won their last 13 heading into the break including a pretty good one against the Knicks a week ago with yours truly in attendance. The Cleveland Cavaliers are reportedly in heated talks with the Phoenix Suns and are attempting to trade for Amare Stoudemire. Recently the discussion has been whether to go after Stoudemire or the Washington Wizards' Antawn Jamison.

Personally I think Jamison might have been the better fit. You've already got Shaq and Z manning the middle. I'm not sure why you would need another big man, which is what Stoudemire is even though he's clearly more athletic than either of the centers currently playing for the Cavs. Certainly Stoudemire is a talented player though. I'm no expert. Obviously.

Speaking of pro teams in Ohio that aren't playing this weekend, it's the Cincinnati Bengals! Yipee! The Bengals reportedly worked out ex-Dallas Cowboy Adam "Pacman" Jones this past week. Cornerback would not seem to be a position of need for the Bengals. Starters Leon Hall and Jonathan Joseph are two of the best in the biz. It is one of those positions where you can never have enough good players. The Bengals may be simply trying to strike gold the way they did with another cast-off, Cedric Benson. Jones is in a different league than Benson though when it comes to douchebaggery. He has been arrested about 83 times and was involved in a shooting incident in Las Vegas that left a man paralyzed. None of that garbage would necessarily preclude me from signing the guy. This would though. He's not a great cornerback.

The Bengals not only worked out, but SIGNED former Jacksonville Jaguar Wide Receiver Matt Jones. This guy's yet another miscreant who was cut by the Jags after getting busted with blow. It's a one year deal for the minimum so it's a fairly low-risk move by the Bagels. The team is woefully thin at the WR position and will need to do a lot more than sign former Arkansas QB's to fill the hole.

Coincidentally, the Bengals also worked out former Ohio State QB Todd Boeckman this week. He was invited to the Bings' mini-camp last year but was not offered a contract.

More Cincinnati sports, the UC Bearcats are currently in a tussle with the UCONN Huskies. Connecticut coach Jim Calhoun has returned to the bench but the 'Cats are currently up 34-25 with 15 mins. left in a sloppy, dull, ponderous basketball game. I have no faith that the Bearcats will hold on. They are the definition of a bubble team. Also, I just caught them playing Miley Cyrus' 'Party in the U.S.A.' during a timeout. C'mon University of Connecticut public address operators, you're better than that.

The Buckeyes' basketball team on the other hand is far from the bubble and with a solid push through the end of the regular season could find themselves with a three seed in the NCAA tournament. Every game is critical at this point as the Buckeyes attempt to win the Big Ten Conference outright. Tomorrow they're at Illinois for a tough road battle.

Further along in the action, just watched the Bearcats piss away a 49-35 lead with four mins. left in the game.

And because you care, Princeton High School sits atop the Greater Miami Conference standings and is currently ranked #3 team in Cincinnati.

Bearcats get their heads out of their collective asses and win 60-48, ruining Coach Calhoun's return to the UCONN bench.

Now, Olympics...

Say it ain't so Joe

There is a vicious rumor floating around that Joe Paterno has had Lasik surgery. This would likely eliminate the need for Old Man Paterno's trademark Coke-bottle-eyeglasses. Along with Bear Bryant's stupid-ass hounds-tooth hat, Paterno's glasses are iconic in the annals of college football.

More importantly than Paterno's eyesight, what's with his intestines? Is there a surgical procedure out there to keep an old man from shitting himself on national TV?

Check the "wardrobe observations" in this clip:

Real men throw stones

I know you were wondering so I went ahead and checked. Men's round robin play starts Tuesday at noon eastern.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Dog the Bounty Hunter will be appearing at the Barnes & Nobles on the Ohio State University campus March 21st. His gravity-defying wife will be there as well.

I didn't want any of you to have any unfortunate scheduling conflicts.

Terry Glenn, Regis and Lou Holtz with a neck brace

And don't let me forget, some good Ron Powlus too.

Eat my shit Marcus Ray

The Trillion Man March

Can't believe I hadn't posted this yet.

If you're not familiar with Ohio State Men's Basketball bench warmer Mark Titus...pull your head out of your ass. Seldom seen on the court, Titus is arguably the team's most popular player thanks to his blog, Club Trillion.

Unfortunately it appears that Titus' playing days are over. He tore the labia in his shoulder and is done for the year. Fortunately this is no cause for alarm in terms of the basketball team, Mark was averaging less than a minute per game.

Anyway, none of that makes the following any less hilarious...

From the Big Ten...

Ohio State's Evan Turner is currently among the top two in points, rebounds and assists. If Turner's numbers stand, he could become the only player in Big Ten history to finish in the top three in each category since assists became an official stat during the 1983-84 season. The Buckeye sophomore is averaging 18.9 points per game (2nd), 9.5 rpg (1st) and 5.7 apg (2nd).

Only five players in Big Ten history have finished in the top 10 of those categories, since 1983-84. (Note on this is that the stats in our books from the 83-84, 84-85, and 85-86 seasons are based on conference games only):

1989-90 | Steve Smith, Michigan State
(1st in scoring - 20.2 | T7th in rebounds - 7.0 | 4th in assists - 4.8)

1991-92 | Jim Jackson, Ohio State
(1st points - 22.4 | 8th rebounds - 6.8 | 7th assists - 4.0)

1995-96 | Brian Evans, Indiana
(1st points - 21.2 | 3rd rebounds - 7.1 | 8th assists - 4.1)

2008-09 | Evan Turner, Ohio State
(1st scoring - 17.3 | 3rd rebounding - 7.1 | 8th assists - 4.0)

2008-09 | Manny Harris, Michigan
(2nd scoring - 16.9 | 6th rebounding - 6.8 | 5th assists - 4.4)

The genius of Zach G.

More Olympics

Seriously, who is the asshole that came up with the double luge in the first place?

"Hey, sliding down an icy track on this sled is so awesome! You know what would be even better? If there was some dude in a really tight outfit laying on top of me!"

HAPPY JOHN COOPER DAY!!

It's coming...

Stones. Brooms. French-Canadians.

Glory.

Oversigning.com

Anyone clinging to any notions of "fair" as they pertain to big-time college football needs to wake up. I'm an Ohio State fan, I know the playing field is far from level.

Given that, I'll simply state that the SEC has the lowest graduation rates in the country, the lowest academic standards of BCS conferences and also employs "oversigning" to an objectionable degree.

The recently launched oversigning.com describes how the practice works.

More importantly, this gives me an excuse to post a funny picture of Nick Saban.

More hoops...

Buckeyes start the stretch run tonight at Bloomington. Following Illinois' upset of Wisconsin in Madison last night and Purdue's win at Michigan State, there are now FIVE teams within a game of first place in the conference.

Before I forget, I heard the craziest statistic last night. Since Head Coach Bo Ryan took over at Wisconsin at the beginning of the 2000-2001 season, the Badgers have only lost SIX times in Madison. He's losing fewer than one game at home per season. Also, Illinois has three of those six victories.

Buckeyes have seven regular season games remaining. Four of those are against teams at the top of the conference. It's put-up or shut-up time for this bunch.

Even given the heated conference race, all is not well in Buckeye Country. From the Cleveland Plain Dealer:

With a shot at the Big Ten title and a leading national player of the year candidate in Evan Turner, Ohio State is headed toward its lowest average attendance in the 12-year history of Value City Arena.

The Buckeyes are averaging 13,411 fans per game, which ranks sixth in the Big Ten and is more than 4,100 fewer fans than Ohio State averaged during its run to the Final Four three seasons ago, 2,500 fewer fans than last season. Athletic director Gene Smith said he's dumbfounded. Coach Thad Matta called it odd.

Not once in 15 games has Ohio State sold out its capacity of 19,409, with only three home games remaining. Three years ago 12 games were sellouts; last season there were four. Never before have the Buckeyes gone through a season without one, but they missed their best chance with the Jan. 31 50-year reunion of the 1960 title team on a pleasant Sunday afternoon.

Given the amount of snow that is now on the ground in Columbus and will be for some time, a sellout seems unlikely over the last few weeks of the season. Although hopefully a conference race that will probably go down to the wire will bring a few more fans to the Schottenstein Center.

And speaking of the Schottenstein Center, therein lies a big part of the problem. It's a monument to all that's wrong with the athletic department. The main reason every home basketball game feels like an insurance seminar is because the students are mainly relegated to the rafters. Yes, one end of the court features a student section but those guys aren't even close to as on-top-of the action as most student sections around the country.

Case in point, did you see the Breslin Center in East Lansing last night? ROCKING. There are students filling almost the entire lower bowl. Another reason the Breslin Center is superior to Ohio State's home court? IT'S NOT CALLED VALUE CITY ARENA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

Here's the other major Schottenstein Center problem, the architecture. At most collegiate basketball arenas the stands rise fairly rapidly creating an actual bowl that traps sound. St. John Arena basically goes straight up for example. The stands at Ohio State's current home court drift lazily upwards towards the luxury boxes. The student section in particular is just too flat. I don't know if there is anyway whatsoever for that to be fixed. I doubt it.

Another reason fans may be having hard time getting pumped up about Buckeye hoops? The tournament. As much as people bitch about the BCS, the NCAA tournament (which is awesome) has rendered the regular season largely meaningless. Sure, you're playing for entry into the tournament and for seed. With automatic bids being awarded to conference tourney winners though, a team can almost take the entire season off, get hot at the beginning of March and still have a chance to win the national title.

And now they're talking about expanding the tournament further? Why have a regular season at all? Why not just start a massive tournament at the beginning of the season and include everyone? Expanding the tournament further is a ridiculous idea, which is why I'm sure it will eventually happen.

Another blast from the past...

Thank you Big Ten Network! The "Big Ten's Greatest Games" series often features mindless drivel but yesterday I caught a gem. It was Ohio State vs. Xavier from the 2007 NCAA tournament. If you don't remember that one or don't remember where you were when Ron Lewis buried the three at the buzzer...punch yourself in the junk.

Me? I was sitting in a Houlihans restaurant in Jersey City, New Jersey. Does it get any better than that?

Unfortunately I couldn't any clips of the game with the actual TV call. That featured Gus Johnson, who is the king of March Madness as far as I'm concerned. Too bad. Gus Johnson could make a basement game of ping pong seem like game seven of the World Series. I thought his head might explode after Lewis hit the shot.

The bizarre thing was I knew how the game ended and was still nervous watching the last nine minutes. That team should have won it all. Fucking Gators...

Anyway, here are two looks at the last shot, both amateur video shot from the stands. The second one is great because you can hear a Xavier fan yelling "FOUL HIM", which is exactly what Xavier should have done.

Speaking of Purdue...

All this talk of Drew Brees at Purdue has me thinking about perhaps the greatest game in the history of Ohio State football. Yep, that would be the Buckeyes at West Lafayette during the championship run, 2002.

Here's a nice five minute synopsis of the game. It never gets old.

HOOPS!

I'm not sure if you realize this or not, but football season is over. I know there are many that are yearning for the NFL Pro Bowl this time of year but guess what? That was last weekend.

So of course, we turn our attention to Buckeye hoops. Need an excuse to pay attention to Ohio State basketball?

A) Evan Turner, starting point guard and national player-of-the-year candidate earned a Big Ten-record 8th career player of the week award, surpassing Purdue's Glenn Rob, and Buckeyes' Jimmy Jackson.

B) Samantha Prahalis, starting point guard earns her 4th player of the week award. Sammy P. is dating Evan Turner according to multiple media outlets. Wonder what they talk about?

C) ESPN's Joe Lunardi currently has Ohio State as a FIVE seed in the upcoming NCAA tourney. Lunardi knows what he's talking about.

D) Buckeye men are currently in third place in the Big Ten, one game behind Michigan State. The lads are at Indiana this Wednesday night.

Lord of the Rings house band receive mixed reviews for Superbowl halftime performance

Battered voices and unfortunate, exposed mid-rift aside, I'll give The Who a solid 6.5 for their performance last night at Sun Life Stadium.

Sun Life Stadium?

That's where the Superbowl was dummy.

These days, you're either "AWESOME" or you "completely suck shit on a shingle." People want to hear/see/read a definitive opinion or nothing at all. Given that, I'm not surprised that everything I saw today regarding The Who was either mostly positive or entirely negative.

I think to be fair, even the biggest Who fans on the planet would have to say that wasn't their best performance. It's not even that Pete Townshend and Roger Daltry can't pull it off anymore, it's that playing to a crowd 70K strong with 100 million people watching on TV is not easy.

Wait a minute.

Why am I apologizing for these has-beens?

Let's face it, The Who hasn't put a big number up on the charts since the late 1970's. The stage they were standing on last night was cool but the vocals left something to be desired. I like the songs, I just didn't think the performance was that strong. I know that might sound shocking.

And what I found most annoying about The Who last night? The fake, piped-in crowd singing along. FAKE.

Frankly, we have Janet Jackson and her waning career to thank for that disappointing Superbowl halftime show. Janet Jackson exposes herself during halftime of the Superbowl and subsequently the world is subjected to Paul McCartney, U2, the Rolling Stones, Prince, Bruce Springsteen and The Who. That's a Hall of Fame line-up, no doubt. Unfortunately, The Who finally gave us the performance that most would expect from a bunch of guys that are at least 30 years past their prime.

Best stupid Who joke of the night? "Maybe they should change their name to The Was." And everyone that offered up, "Who was that performing at halftime?" You're a complete hack.

The NY Times was mostly kind to Daltry and Townshend. The medley of songs format pointed out by the Times I think was required. It's a 15 minute show and the band is trying to cram as much of their act into that space as possible.

And if you want a synopsis of The Who performance from nearly every newspaper in the western world, here it is from the Sports Business Journal. Enjoy.

Top-notch douchebaggery from Seantrel Henderson

I'm not really sure what possible reason CBS has for putting this mierda on their airwaves. What's worse? This garbage or the assholes that put the JonBenet Ramseys of the world on a stage?

So that no one gets confused, this was Seantrel's act on signing day. Hours after this "performance" it was revealed that Minnesota Fats was not in fact signing a letter of intent.

Dr. Saturday, on a roll.

That's my man Jimmy T. kicking it sans footwear while recruiting Minnesota Fats, A.K.A. Seantrel Henderson. As you probably know, Seantrel found Coach Tressel's last minute, in-home pitch "boring". Apparently Tubby-from-10,000-Lakes finds possible NCAA sanctions at Southern Cal far more exciting. GENIUS.

Dr. Saturday had the following to say on this subject:

One thing Lane Kiffin definitely is not: Boring. He's also not a championship coach with a proven track record of building and sustaining one of the most consistent programs in the country. But where's the excitement in that? Given Kiffin's fast finish and the largely disappointing crop at Ohio State, far more top recruits are looking for the adrenaline rush only a coaching transition under the specter of looming NCAA sanctions can provide.

Is that a compliment? I'm not sure. I guess you can decide.

That's Sam Bradford last week.

Really. It is.

It appears that if this NFL thing doesn't work out for him that he may have a future with NASA. Or the local swim team.

Beating the dead horse, Vol. 440

University of Southern California Head Football Coach Lane Kiffin. Dirtbag? [CHECK] Hot wife? [CHECK] Needs a spanking from the NCAA? [CHECK]

You may have already heard that Little Laney Kiffin offered a scholarship to a 13-year-old last week. I wish I could lay $1000 on "that kid won't be exactly well-adjusted as an adult" somewhere but I don't think Bodog.com has it up yet.

If you wanted more detail regarding one of the absolute slimiest stories this side of Rae Carruth, here you go, again courtesy of Yahoo's Dr. Saturday.

I mean does this guy look creepy or what?

Beating the dead horse, Vol. 439

And just so you think you're getting "fair and balanced" here at Level 6 (you're not), I submit the following endorsement of recruiting class rankings. Yahoo.com's Dr. Saturday explains why five-star recruits are actually...five-star recruits.

I don't know what he's saying. If you buy into all this recruiting hocus-pocus, you'll probably enjoy it though.

Beating the dead horse, Vol. 438

The 2006 Texas recruiting class that just played for the national title was ranked 20th by the know-it-all pundits.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.

Beating the dead horse, Vol. 437

From The Big Lead...

The best cornerback in the NFL is Darrelle Revis. In 2004, when he was coming out of high school, Revis was ranked as the 36th best cornerback in the country by Scout (and 41st overall, as five junior college players were listed ahead of him). Perhaps more staggering is that in 2002, Aaron Rodgers, one of the more promising young QBs in the NFL, was not even ranked as a high school prospect.

I think this clearly indicates that I had a much better chance than I thought to be an All-American. Had the recruiting services not more accurately recognized my talents I would have achieved great things.

Mazol Tov

Muchas congratulations to former Buckeyes Will Smith and Malcolm Jenkins of the Superbowl champion New Orleans Saints. Based on what I recall from the game I think that both of them had a small part in the victory.

You have to wonder if the incredibly talented Malcolm Jenkins will ever achieve these heights throughout the duration of his career. Then again, I'm sure there are hundreds of former players that would have taken a Superbowl victory in their rookie season over no Superbowl at all.

I'm not sure what happened exactly but I found myself rooting for the Colts in this one. I'd say if there is a surefire way to determine who is going to the win the Superbowl it's to just find out who I'm rooting for and go the other way.

Let's review:

2010 - rooting for the Colts, Saints win
2009 - rooting for the Cards, Steelers win
2008 - rooting for the Giants, GIANTS WIN!
2007 - rooting for the Colts, COLTS WIN!
2006 - rooting for the Seahawks, Steelers win
2005 - rooting for the Eagles, Pats win
2004 - rooting for the Panthers, Pats win
2003 - rooting for the Raiders, Bucs win
2002 - rooting for the Rams, Pats win
2001 - rooting for the Giants, Ravens win
2000 - rooting for the Titans, Rams win

So that's two wins out of the last 11 Superbowls. Sweet.

And the bizarre thing is I haven't the slightest idea why I was rooting for the Colts yesterday. Maybe it's general disdain for southern football, which extends somewhat to the pro ranks. Maybe it was faith in my own expectation of what would happen.

Maybe I'm still mad at Drew Brees for beating Ohio State his senior year? I have no idea.

The game was apparently not only the most watched Superbowl of all time, but in fact the most watched television program of all time beating the season finale of M*A*S*H.

The name of the M*A*S*H theme song by the way? That would be 'Suicide is Painless'. Heartwarming.

Speaking of heartwarming. Here's some quality video from New Orleans after the Saints win. Somehow CBS failed to realize that there may have been something worth seeing in the French Quarter at the end or immediately following the game.

Must be a strange day in parts of Indiana. Certainly they were rooting for the Colts. However, both of the heroes for the Saints, QB Drew Brees and CB Tracy Porter played collegiate ball in Indiana (Purdue and IU respectively). Then again, I can't stand the Steelers and took very little solace in the fact that Ohio State's own Santonio Holmes was the MVP last year.

I love that people are praising Saints Head Coach Sean Payton today for gambling on the onsides kick. Had the Saints not come up with that ball (and the Colts blew it not recovering the kick), the Colts would have had a very short field and Manning could have put a little more distance between the two teams on the scoreboard. The media would have been CRUSHING him today for being the first coach to ever call an onsides kick before the 4th quarter in the history of the Superbowl.

Purdue and Alabama are now the only schools that have had three different QB's win the Superbowl. Name all six QB's and you win...absolutely nothing.

As unpopular as the sentiment might be, I tend to agree with this clown from FanNation, the Superbowl was kind of boring. It probably had a lot to do with very efficient play from both offenses, a well-played game with almost no penalties, and the key "go-for-it" moments coming right around halftime.

For now though, live it up ladies...

The Odd Couple

If it's Valentine's Day and it's Columbus, OH that must mean The Village People are performing at the Palace Theater.

Huh?

Yeah, I don't know either.

I do know that proceeds from the concert will be going to the Stephanie Spielman Fund. That means of course that OSU's own Chris Spielman will be at the concert and I'm guessing, appearing on stage at some point.

So if you had "Chris Spielman will appear on stage with the Village People before hell freezes over" in the pool than you win. Congrats.

Superbowl Commercials: The good, the bad, the Spoof

"I know, let's make a Superbowl commercial where a guy builds a whole house out of Bud Lite! And then someone comes along and asks him if all the cans are empty and it turns out they're not! So they dismantle the house by drinking all the Bud Lite! YES! GENIUS!"

- Overpaid, untalented advertising agency executive



Can we please all stop it with the fucking Superbowl commercials? That shit hasn't been funny since Bud Bowl II. The notion that Superbowl commercials are somehow better than anything you see during a Law & Order re-run is absolutely ridiculous.

Doritos in a coffin? Another stupid-ass Budweiser Clydesdale tale? Betty White? ABE VAGODA!!?? I'm mean how stupid are we? Yes, I know, pretty stupid. I mean 'Two and a Half Men' is a hit show for crying out loud. Jay Leno makes millions. I get it, it doesn't take much to make some people laugh.

Isn't this why they invented DVR though? So I don't have to watch all that garbage anymore? And while I'm on the subject, is there anything more useless than listening to Dan Marino, Boomer Esiason, Bill Cowher and Shannon Sharpe yell at each other during halftime? GET OUTTA HERE!

As long as I have command of the clicker (meaning until they pry it from my cold, dead hand), no commercials will EVER be intentionally viewed during the Superbowl or during any other sporting event. It's not happening.

And here's another little hint for all the idiots out there that actually want to watch expensive advertisements. Listen very closely...in the highly unlikely event that there is a commercial from the Superbowl that is worth watching, YOU CAN WATCH IT ON THE INTERNET AFTER THE FACT. I know, I know, this whole Internet thing might just take off one of these days.

And finally, the Tim Tebow commercial? I know the organization that backed the advertisement has been responsible for some utterly ridiculous statements but what was the big deal with Tebow and his mother anyway? Why did he tackle her? And why did it look like they were dating at the end? I thought for a second that it was a Match.com commercial.

One of the reasons that I was forced to watch commercials last night was because when I try to execute the DVR delay, my wife constantly checks the score on her phone because she doesn't care to watch the game unfold! Even though she typically doesn't blurt out the score just knowing that she knows what's already happened annoys the crap out of me. Cripes! Due to that unfortunate circumstance I did catch the Google advertisement, which I thought was somewhat clever and compelling compared to most of the mindless BS that they trot out.

Even better than the Google commercial though? The Google commercial spoof with the Tiger Woods theme. Enjoy...

Sadly, it's probably all downhill for this kid...

Seriously. Greatest moment of his life and he'll never remember it?

We'll check back in 20 years to see how that turned out.

Ongoing recruiting lunacy...

Two years ago we were treated to the ludicrous and unending Terrelle Pryor recruiting "process". Ohio State is now indirectly linked to another round of extended recruiting coverage that just about makes me puke. Once again it's the consensus top recruit in the nation but this guy's no QB. And frankly, I'm wondering if the kid can spell Q-B.

Of course I'm referring to 6'8", 300 lb. Seantrel Henderson, the massive offensive lineman from Minnesota. For those of you that aren't already familiar with Mr. Henderson, he's exactly the kind of kid that exemplifies much of what's wrong with collegiate football recruiting in general. He appears to be milking the process, his father is WAAAAY too publicly involved in the whole thing and, as always, there is no guarantee that the kid will be any good at all at the next level.

Remember the last 6'8" recruit that showed up at Ohio State? That guy made more noise off the field than he did on it. Yes, that was Mr. Alex Boone. Another very, very heavily recruited player that did not come anywhere close to living up to his potential. How about another blast from the past, Jefferson Kelley? Anyone remember that guy out of Cincinnati Colerain? He was 6'6", 300 lbs. when he came to Ohio State and never ended up playing a lick. I believe he even quit the team eventually.

Not that Seantrel Henderson is going to be Alex Boone or Jefferson Kelley. Those are just a couple of the thousands and thousands of examples of how many of these guys just don't pan out, and therefore don't warrant nearly as much of the attention that they receive.

Dismissing the fact that Henderson could very easily be a complete bust at the collegiate level, we should note that on signing day Seantrel spurned several schools including Ohio State and "signed" with Lane Kiffin and USC. Except it turns out he didn't "sign" at all. He committed to Southern Cal, but has decided he wants to wait and see what the NCAA has to say about USC before he actually signs the letter of intent.

Here is what Seantrel Henderson's father, Sean Henderson, had to say about the situation:

"I wouldn’t lose the leverage that we have. I mean, at the end of the day it’s still a business and at the end of the day it’s still my son’s future. And everything that’s going to possibly go on in his life could boil down to that decision and I wouldn’t sell him basically, per se, you know, but my son, his life away and put it in their hands not knowing, you know, what the future holds for USC or for him. And so I’d rather be able to at least let him keep his options open, because if things aren’t looking good come the 20th or the 21st [of February] or whatever, then we might have to move in a different direction, but it’s only for the sake of his future."

Wow.

I don't even know what to make of that...stuff. All I know is that Sean Henderson seems to give more interviews than his son. And I also know that after reading that garbage that I really don't care to see Sean Henderson or his son anywhere near Ohio State's campus. The whole thing just SCREAMS 'high maintenance'.

I bring this all up of course because presumably Little Seantrel is still available for the taking, especially if the NCAA has anything bad to say about Southern Cal. And this is where it gets real stupid. Ignore the fact that if the Henderson family REALLY was worried about potential NCAA sanctions that they would have already crossed USC off the list. Ignore the notion that Lane Kiffin is a carpet-bagging dirtbag that makes Bobby Petrino look like a reasonable fellow.

The chances that anyone is going to find out anything about what will actually come down the pike from the NCAA as it pertains to USC within the next month or so (which is how long the big lug has to pick a school) are very remote. There are glaciers in North America that move faster than the NCAA.

And finally, the genius/ridiculousness of collegiate football recruiting is that indecisive attention whores like the Henderson family get far more attention than the kids that decide by the end of their junior year where they want to go to school. Is it because the kids that wait are better football players? Hardly. It's because a kid making a decision and sticking by it doesn't sell subscriptions to useless piles of "insider information."

More random YouTube...

I have no idea what's going on here, and I don't think Detroit Lions QB Matt Stafford does either. All I know is that Marissa Miller is insanely hot. There's a 9% chance the former Georgia Bulldog messed his pants at about the 20 second mark here.

The Daily Moron: Jamarcus Russell

The phrase "more money than brains" was never more apropos.

Here are a few of Fatty Jam. Russell's best game day get-ups:

The ever-present efficiency of our federal government

Everything's going just great around here? Nothing else needs fixin'?

How's unemployment? Record high?

How about the economy in general? Still in the pits?

Iraq? Afghanistan? Haiti? All still fucked?

Good, now we can get to the important stuff...

PRESIDENT OBAMA'S ADMINISTRATION LOOKING INTO LEGALITY OF BCS

WASHINGTON -- The Obama administration is considering several steps that would review the legality of the controversial Bowl Championship Series, the Justice Department said in a letter Friday to a senator who had asked for an antitrust review.

In the letter to Sen. Orrin Hatch, obtained by The Associated Press, Assistant Attorney General Ronald Weich wrote that the Justice Department is reviewing Hatch's request and other materials to determine whether to open an investigation into whether the BCS violates antitrust laws.

"Importantly, and in addition, the administration also is exploring other options that might be available to address concerns with the college football postseason," Weich wrote, including asking the Federal Trade Commission to review the legality of the BCS under consumer protection laws.

Eat shit Orrin Hatch. Find something important to do with the time and money of the nation you colossal dickbag.

CLEVELAND ROCKS!

Well done. I guess they don't call it the Mistake by the Lake for nothing.

ESPN.com's Bill Simmons recently broke down the 15 most tortured franchises in sports history.

Guess what Cleveland? You landed three out of the top 10 slots! A trifecta!

Cavs, Indians and Browns all made the list. Well done indeed.