There is a vicious rumor floating around that Joe Paterno has had Lasik surgery. This would likely eliminate the need for Old Man Paterno's trademark Coke-bottle-eyeglasses. Along with Bear Bryant's stupid-ass hounds-tooth hat, Paterno's glasses are iconic in the annals of college football.
More importantly than Paterno's eyesight, what's with his intestines? Is there a surgical procedure out there to keep an old man from shitting himself on national TV?
Check the "wardrobe observations" in this clip:
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