Kenny Fucking Powers

Tebow? Still?

Here's what's really, really disheartening.

It's July 1st. There will not be any meaningful discussion of college football for two full months. Nothing that has any major effect on the upcoming season will happen until September.

And yet there are some initial feelings of dread swimming in my head when I think about the 2009 season. You know why!

You're telling me that fucker is still playing football for Florida?

Stewart Mandel from SI.com released his first college football mailbag of the year today. I got to the third sentence in his first response before I was turned off.

With that favorable schedule, will anybody beat Florida?
-- @akosnitzky

Nobody's unbeatable in college football anymore; but on paper, these Gators have as good a shot at running the table as any team in the last four years. Heading into the season, Florida reminds me very much of USC's 2005 squad (minus the "greatest team of all-time" nonsense) -- a defending BCS champ returning its Heisman-winning quarterback and a boatload of other stars, playing a schedule that, as of now, seems inordinately favorable (no Alabama or Ole Miss in conference play; Charleston Southern, Troy and FIU in nonconference).

If anything, Florida is probably better suited to repeat than were those Trojans because the Gators' strength is their defense.


I don't know if I can take another year of the media fellatio.

And let's stop right there for a moment. This clown is setup perfectly for a massive fall from grace. He's a great football player. He's a team guy. A Heisman, two national titles. Oh, and he does a lot of good deeds.

I don't blame the guy for sticking around Florida for another year. In the NFL he'll mostly ride the bench, I'm guessing. Some team may try to run heavy with the 'Wildcat' but that won't work. Tebow's lack of speed will be a major problem in the pro's. And his size will be somewhat negated too. Everyone is bigger and faster in the NFL. There will not be nearly as much separation from a size and talent perspective as compared to the opponent. He has a pretty good arm but I don't think it's going to be good enough.

So at least we've got that to look forward to at least.

"Tebow potentially failing in the NFL" is not what I want to look forward to when I think about the 2009 college football season.

Back to the point though, passing on the NFL is one thing. Imagine what it's like to be Tim Tebow in Gainesville right now? He's taking BMOC status to another level.

Is there any chance whatsoever that my dreams will come true and Tebow will knock up some filthy whore?

Frankly, I'd settle for 'morally lenient' as opposed to filthy whore.

Whatever.

All I know is the season is months away and I'm already sick of Tebow. Hopefully the incredibly short attention span of the nation will kick in and they'll grow tired of Tebow being good. Hopefully he has crested and the minor criticisms will start. We'll see.

I am just hoping that this asshole doesn't ruin the whole season. Again.

July 1st? Too early?

So it's just about time to get it in gear.


We'll start with this for the time being. It's collegefootballnews.com doing what they do best, discussing college football in a relative and interesting manner.

One of the latest offseason round table discussions is the provocatively named "Why Does the Big Ten Stink?"

Some great stuff out of the gate from College Football News' publisher Pete Fiutak:

A: You mean besides billing itself as a collection of eleven of the world's elite institutes of higher learning while being named the Big Ten?

Is the Big Ten as good as the SEC? No. No one is. But the conference, outside of Ohio State, has had its moments against the big bad boy on the block with Michigan and Penn State winning New Year's Day games over the SEC a few years ago and Iowa beating up South Carolina last year. Wisconsin has always played the SEC tough and Michigan State wasn't horrible in last year's Capital One Bowl loss to a superior Georgia team.

The problem is that the league hasn't come through on the biggest stages, with issue one being the constant waterboarding provided by a USC program that, when fully focused, is the best in America and would beat 110 other teams in the Rose Bowl by three touchdowns, would beat six of the top teams by double digits, and would be in a battle to the final gun against the other three, whichever they might be, and would probably win two of those games. You can't dog an entire conference because it has problems with USC.

The Big 12 was a better league than the Big Ten last year, but that's relatively new and that's mostly because Texas and Oklahoma have been killers. So, at worst, the Big Ten is probably the third best league in college football. However, because of all the attention, and because of the TV time slots, helped by being in the middle of the country and by getting the first games on ESPN on a weekly basis, many believe the Big Ten should be better.

While USC is the big problem, the other issue in the conference's national perception is Ohio State, who gets obliterated by fans and media because it can't beat the best of the best teams in America over the last few years. But again, you can't rip on a team or a conference because they can't beat USC, and there shouldn't be too much ripping on a team or a league because of losses to the elite.

I've used this fun stat before, and I'm going to throw it out there again because it's so interesting when it comes to these debates. Look who Ohio State has lost to over the last four years.

- 2008: USC (Rose Bowl champion), Penn State (Big Ten champion, Rose Bowl bound), Texas (arguably the best team in America, lost in the Fiesta Bowl).
- 2007: Illinois (Rose Bowl bound), LSU (the national championship).
- 2006: Florida (the national championship).
- 2005: Texas (the eventual national champion), Penn State (Big Ten champion, Orange Bowl champion).

The Buckeyes have lost eight games in four years, all to BCS teams including three national champions.