The last of the last for the time being...

- Unfortunately Notre Dame didn't lose yesterday. They also didn't play.

- Michigan is 2-5, and I'm laughing my ass off.

- What in God's name happened to Wisconsin? Faint dreams of a national title run have turned quickly into a 3-4 record and tied for LAST in the Big Ten. Wow. Brett Bielma, here comes the heat.

- Did anyone else see the ref make the tackle last night in the Texas-Mizzou game? I've seen refs get run over many, many times but I've never seen one bow-up and drop the runner. That was ridiculous. If I was that player I would have asked for the ball again on the next play and run that clown over.

- When are coaches going to learn that icing the kicker doesn't work. Especially not in the pro's. I saw it again today. Whoever that idiot is that's now coaching the Raiders thought he was pretty smart, just like so many others have before him.

The Jets are lining up for a 52-yard-kick with less then ten seconds remaining in regulation and this fucking moron calls timeout as the ball is snapped. Of course, Jets kicker Jay Feeley doinks it off the upright.

"Thanks for the practice kick coach, I appreciate it."

Sure enough, the second kick was right down the middle.

Has that EVER worked? Serious? How fucking stupid are these guys? Why give them a practice kick, why not make them hurry up to get the kick off?

Hopefully someone will come up with a way to determine definitively that this maneuver NEVER works.

Unfortunately fate didn't dole out punishment, the Raiders were able to win the game in OT.

- I find nothing remarkable about pro football this year. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that the Bengals are an utter abomination. College football's still got it all over pro football though. Not that this should come as a shock to anyone.

- And finally, the Bengals perfect season is still intact. It looks like Carson Palmer is going to be done for the season. No way the Bagels pull off the 0-fer though, they'll screw it up at some point along the way.

The real question is, if the Bengals didn't win a game, would Mike Brown fire Marvin Lewis? I say no.

Bengals

Ratings bonanza!

The Fox exec's just threw up in their mouths a little bit. Tampa Devil Rays vs. the Philadelphia Phillies in the World Series. It's that old Tampa-Philly rivalry once again. FEEL THE INTENSITY!

Of course, this is what you get when you have a multi-round tournament instead of picking two teams arbitrarily to play for it all. The Rays and the Phillies. Sweet!

Admittedly, I would have had a lot more interest in the WS with either the Dodgers or Red Sox in the mix. It's only fitting that both were left out though. Manny Ramirez is a colossal buffoon and who in God's name wants to see Boston win anything else, ever, anytime soon? Seriously, fuck those guys with a shovel.

I will likely be pulling for Philly since I'm a National League guy and because no team that averages 15K fans at best during the regular season deserves to win a title. They couldn't even open up the 'extra' seating until the ALCS for crying out.

On a slightly different note, I saw something really weird last night. I'm flipping through the guide and I see Game Six of the ALCS listed as being from 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM eastern. Seriously, 8-10? When was the last time a playoff baseball game lasted only two hours? Game Five was over four hours and it was only nine innings!

The good stuff, Part II...

How about the true freshman quarterback waving his arms and telling the home crowd "bring it on" early in the game? Damn does this kid scream 'confidence'.

Here's a great quote from the opening of Mitch Albom's Detroit Free Press column:

EAST LANSING — The weather was perfect, the stadium was packed and the whole town was pounding with green-and-white optimism.

And then the game started.

And Ohio State pulled the Spartans’ pants down.

Good stuff Mitch!

- I asked for the Buckeyes to boot out TP and have him throw to the TE if he was there. Guess what? It worked. It doesn't matter that Brandon Smith was primarily lined up at fullback, it's the same concept. Terrelle was 'thinking' nearly as much yesterday and it showed. I also liked that they ran plays specifically with his legs in mind. That's what we need out of TP right now.

- The numerous shots of dejected MSU fans were outstanding! They all looked like someone just told them 'there is no Easter bunny'.

- Once the Buckeyes took a 28-0 lead into halftime I thought we'd see a healthy dose of Maurice Wells in the second half with the Spartans trying to claw their way back. I even went as far to say "Michigan State will win the second half, 17-3." Obviously I was wrong. And man am I glad that's the case.

- I think that either Beanie Wells or TP may have just stiff-armed another MSU defender. I checked the stat sheet, the Buckeyes threw 132 guys in green to the ground yesterday.

- Malcolm-motherfuckin'-Jenkins, the pride of Piscatway, NJ is having himself a hell of a season. He's fast, he's physical, and no one on the OSU roster is playing with more confidence right now. Man is that guy a total mother or what?

- And finally, best play of the game yesterday without a doubt, Thaddeus Gibson LITERALLY pulling a touchdown out of Sparty's ass. Absolutely fuckin' hilarious. "Thank you sir, I will lift this ball right off your ass and take it to the house." The old ass-ball does in Michigan State yet again.

The good stuff...

Despite what you may have read in the last post, which was full of bad Buckeye bullet points, the boys in scarlet and gray had one of the better performances we've seen in well over a year yesterday.

It starts of course with the 'Beanie Hop'.

Coach Tressel was of course trying to setup the field goal but MSU's defense was so pathetic that they couldn't even help out. Instead Chris Wells took it to the house and finished it off with a stylish leap into the endzone. Gotta love it.

Final thoughts...

Posting will be fairly limited for the next week or so while the family (pictured) moves corporate headquarters from Jersey City to the heart of Buckeye Nation, Columbus. Before Level 6 goes dark though I'll offer up a few thoughts.

Awesome win for the Buckeyes yesterday in East Lansing. Haven't seen one like that in quite awhile. We certainly haven't seen it this season and I'm not sure we saw it all of last season either. I'll put it this way, we weren't up by four touchdowns at halftime against any ranked teams last year.

Unfortunately that game was called by some of the biggest douchebags in all of sports yesterday. Brad Nessler and Bob Griese used to be a couple of my favorites. However, they've been reduced to rodeo clown status by that colossal shithead Paul McGuire. What an utter fuckball that guy is. I guess there is a reason they frequently make him call games from the parking lot or the next town over. Tony Kornheiser looks like Howard Cossel compared to Paul-effing-McGuire.

Even those guys are tolerable when the Buckeyes have it going on all cylinders though. Almost everything went their way yesterday, save for the following:

- With Ben Person getting benched I guess Jimmy Cordle took it upon himself to handle the 'early false start' duties. Damn are those annoying.

- The offensive play-calling was outstanding yesterday for the most part. Funny how that seems to be the case when the Buckeyes are dominating both lines of scrimmage. However, the worst call I saw was once again handing it to Chris Wells on 3rd and 1. That is simply not going to work. Everyone and their mother knows that Beanie's getting the rock and the offensive line can't get a push when there are 11 guys inside the box. Can we please get a little more creative on 3rd or 4th and 1?

- Ray effing Small. I'm sorry, for a guy that has returned as many kicks as he has there is no excuse for fumbling like he did. That could have been a HUGE momentum shift in the game and we got bailed out by Austin Spitler somehow getting to the ball before the two MSU guys even though they were much closer when it hit the turf. I can't believe that some thought Ray Small was the next Ted Ginn Jr. He's at least two steps slower then Teddy.

- And speaking of special teams, what gives with the Buckeyes' kickoff coverage? We can't seem to get the ball into the endzone and we appear to be giving up tons of yardage on those returns. In the second half Ohio State went to the pooch kickoff in an apparent attempt to limit the returns. For all of Ohio State's success these past few years kickoffs either way have not been a strength.

If anyone can find special teams stats by team I'd love to seem them for the current season. I can't find it.

- Terrelle Pryor had a pretty damn good game but at some point here he's going to have to figure out how to get rid of the ball instead of taking the sack. He lines up in the shotgun, then drops back, then gets sacked. He's losing about seven yards a pop. That's never good.

- We all know that MSU Head Coach Dantonio and Tressel are friends. I'm not sure Tress' needed to go as far as to apologize for the last touchdown Ohio State scored? That's essentially what he did when he stated in the postgame presser, "I wish it wouldn't have happened." Please coach, it's not like the Buckeyes dropped 80 on the Spartans. For the record it was a defensive touchdown, OSU wasn't throwing deep bombs or anything.

- Myself and others are convinced that the deep ball that Pryor threw after the Buckeyes were up by several touchdowns was Tressel's way of telling the opposition, 'we're still going to go deep'. Except of course, there wasn't an OSU receiver within 20 yards of the pass. What are the chances that Tressel told Pryor "Just throw it deep, I know there won't be any receiver running a deep route on this play but throw it deep anyway." Only Jim Tressel could figure out how go play-action fake with a fake deep ball.

- And finally, I used to think Tress' favorite play was the punt. I was wrong. It's third and long with the lead. No down and distance screams 'setup the kick' like third and long when Tressel has a bit of cushion.

"Third and long again? YES. Let's run a draw for Beanie. Kicking team get ready."

Speaking of Mark Sanchez...

'Chez took down another Cougar on Saturday. No, not the kind of cougars he's usually hunting. This time it was Washington State University Cougars.

The Trojans whipped Wazzu 69-0 today.

Wow.

HOWEVER, before everyone gets all gooey over this one, let me hit you with the following statistic:

Washington State has given up more then 63 points FOUR TIMES so far this season. That's FOUR OUT OF SEVEN GAMES they've given up over 60.

The Cougars are literally the worst college football team in FBS this year.

Let's not give the Trojans too much credit on this one.

Random thought of the day

Think Ohio State will be facing Mark Sanchez again next year? And I'm not talking about a potential rematch in the Rose Bowl yet this season.

My initial thoughts were that regardless of the level of success and/or the success of the Trojans that Sanchez would return. I base that almost entirely on the example set by Matt Leinart. Leinart could have come out early and could have been the top pick in the draft. I guess 'BMOC' status in Los Angeles is enough to pass up $50 mill.

Consider also that Matt Leinart, a high first round draft pick, can't even get off the bench for the Cardinals. So when Mark Sanchez calls up Leinart for advice, what do you think he would say?

"Well Mark, you can stay in school for another year and slam ass all over Orange County, or you can go pro and ride the pine."

Underclassmen considering whether or not to go pro have something else to take into account now. There is a push towards a rookie salary scale in the NFL. If you are a potential Top Ten pick, a salary scale could mean a massive pay cut.

Frankly I would rather not face that douchebag again. Go get paid Mark.

'Rudy' blows

I caught 'Invincible' for the first time tonight.

Good stuff.

The Philadelphia Eagles' Vince Papale makes Notre Dame's 'Rudy' look like a fruity little circus freak. And I'm no Philly fan.

And speaking of Mark Wahlberg, check out SNL's 'Mark Wahlberg talks to animals'. Frickin' great.

Coaches' Poll

Texas #1, I think that's probably deserved. The Longhorns have CRUSHED everyone they've faced. The only close game they've endured was this past weekend in the Cotton Bowl against Oklahoma. Everyone though Oklahoma was the clear number one and would beat Texas. Oops.

Texas remaining schedule is brutal. If they stay #1, they'll have earned it.

'Bama #2, I think that's adequate as well. Plenty of time still to make sure these rankings are deserved.

Penn State #3, that's probably OK with me too, although I'm not sure that they've beaten a quality opponent yet. Unfortunately this is the burden of the Big 10 these days. As long as Big Nittany keeps winning big it won't matter.

Southern Cal #4. This is where I have a problem. Consider the following. On a neutral field Oklahoma lost an epic battle to Texas, a team ranked in or around the Top Five. The Trojans lost to the Beavers. Yet we've got Pete Carroll's gang ahead of the Sooners? I don't know about that one.

Browns...Clowns...Victory!

Do Cleveland Browns' throw-back uniforms exist?

This grainy photo is the best evidence we could find. I found this in the book depository next to Oswald's spent rounds.

Throw-back uniforms are an outstanding marketing idea and sometimes those throw-backs are actually better then the current iteration of your favorite teams' 'costumes'. The San Diego Charger powder blues are outstanding for example.

The Cleveland Browns don't seem to understand the concept of the throw-back though, as evidenced by their repeatedly rolling out this same edition. We saw it again tonight on MNF.

The only way you can tell that these are in fact old-school uni's is because there's a grade-school-print number scrawled on the helmet. That's it, everything else is the same.

First off, NO ONE BUYS HELMETS! It's all about the jerseys!

So essentially, the throw-back Cleveland Browns jersey is EXACTLY the same as the current Cleveland Browns jersey. No difference!

While there is something noble about tradition, it should also be pointed out that...hey...why even attempt to roll out a throw-back if you're not going to get it right?

To their credit, the Clowns still managed to win the game tonight against the Giants. Nice work.

See you next weekend for 2-4.

Perfect season still intact and looking strong!

That's a great picture isn't it? I hope Carson was compensated well to look like a circus clown.

Yep, the Bagels knocked down another wrung on the ladder of ineptitude yesterday. The Jets and their HORRENDOUS throw-back uniforms bumped the Bengals, 26-14.

As usual, the Bengals hung tough for awhile. I wasn't fooled this time. Even down by three in the third quarter I had no doubts that they would lose by more then ten. The Jets weren't a good enough team to solicit max effort from Team Mike Brown.

For once, Marvin Lewis didn't disappoint me. At least this one didn't come down to OT or the last minute.

It looks like Carson Palmer may be done for awhile. I wouldn't be surprised if they shut him down for the season.

Let's assume that happens.

I looked at the schedule today. The next lousy team on the schedule is Houston in a few weeks.

I'm guessing Houston is going to need to beat the Bengals as badly as the Bengals need to beat Houston. And guess what? That game is IN HOUSTON.

Chalk that one up for Matt Schaub and company, even though they suck ass.

So I'm going to go ahead and give the Bengals 0-12. That's right, no doubt in my mind, they're going to wrack up 12 losses to start the season.

I don't think they'll be able to pull off the 'perfect' season though. They'll catch someone sleeping down the stretch. So I'm thinking maybe one win or perhaps two. Three wins will be a miracle.

Here's the question, if the Bengals go 1-15, does Mike Brown fire Marvin Lewis?

He's under contract at least through 2010. The only thing Bengals' owner Mike Brown hates more then winning, is paying guys that no longer work for him. So a moribund 1-15 season would be an interesting conundrum for one of the worst-run pro franchises on planet earth.

My guess? Marvin Lewis would get another chance.

That's what parity-defying teams do.

The Ben Person Drinking Game!

First off, I think this picture speaks volumes. Ben Person, an offensive guard, isn't blocking someone, he's tackling his teammate.

It's a running joke. And I guess 'running' joke is indeed a pun in this instance.

I'm going down my checklist for the Buckeyes' game.

Ben Person false start?

CHECK.

Thank you NCAA for allowing the refs to call out the numbers of those committing infractions. It has further confirmed what I have been seeing for more then a year now.

Ben Freaking Person gets nabbed for more false starts then anyone playing college football. I defy you to disprove that statement.

Against Purdon't, it took all of three plays for Ben Person to get his false start onto the stat sheet. How in the name of Woody Hayes is this still happening?

EVERY SINGLE GAME, BEN PERSON GETS CALLED FOR A FALSE START. EVERY GAME!

In 2005, Ben Person saw action in the last nine games of the season.

In 2006, Ben Person played in all 12 games.

In 2007, Ben Person started every single game at right guard.

In 2008? As a fifth year player and returning starter, he still hasn't figured out how to wait for the fuckin' snap. Re-goddamn-diculous.

To his credit, BP throws a nice block here and there and is called on to pull often in Tressel's scheme. The false starts are just infuriating though.

The offensive line play has been maddeningly inconsistent and Ben Person's false starts are just another symptom.

If Ben Person gets another false start against Michigan State, go ahead and give yourself a drink. And by 'a drink', I mean buy a bottle of Jack and slam half of it. Maybe that'll make OSU's offensive line get motivated.

Pink slip!

And a deserved one. Although they're saying that Tommy Bowden stepped down and wasn't canned. I'm sure that didn't happen without a heavy dose of pressure.

Tommy Bowden earns the grand distinction of being the first coach to get canned during the 2008 season. It is debatable whether or not schools gain much by letting a guy go mid-season. There seems to be some feeling that TB had 'lost' the team. Who ever knows what that means though?

Interesting that offensive coordinator Rob Spence also left the team. Not sure I've seen that one before.

Here's the one thing that irks me slightly about this situation. The administration extended the contract of this guy in the offseason. WHY? What had Tommy Bowden possibly have accomplished to warrant a vote of confidence?

The Clemson AD said today that the extension was offered because Arkansas had sent out some feelers to see whether or not Tommy Bowden might be available. Are you fuckin' kidding me?

Tommy 'Chronic Underachiever' Bowden was worth re-upping to keep him from leaving for another conference? PLEASE.

The AD needs some heat on that one in my opinion. I will never understand why these schools are so desperate to hang onto mediocre coaches.

Kirk Ferentz gets an extension in the offseason? FOR WHAT? He's already overpaid. What's the worst that could happen, he goes somewhere else?

These schools can do better. These coaches get paid too much. And as a result, unrealistic expectations are the norm, not the exception.

What's unrealistic about winning the conference once in ten years though? Tommy Bowden couldn't pull that off. Even before the ACC became the 'next SEC' by adding VT, Miami and BC, he NEVER won the conference. That's damning when you've been at the same school for that long. And it's not like Clemson is Duke.

I've said it 100 times and I'll say it 100 times again. Expectations get coaches in trouble. Clemson started the season in the Top 10 and was favored to win the ACC.

To Tommy Bowden's credit, he went to a bowl game every year he was at Clemson except for one. That was 2004 when Clemson was invited to a bowl but declined because the team got into a brawl with South Carolina during the last game of the regular season.

It should be pointed out however that TB won only three of those bowl games. When you're not winning the conference and not winning the national title, the bowl games are the lasting image fans and alumni are left with during the nine months of offseason. Ask John Cooper how rough a road that can be.

The reality is it was over for Tommy Bowden halfway through the Alabama game. Sure, 'Bama is a good team and Saban is twice the coach TB will ever be. I'm sure the alums had seen enough though after only 30 minutes of play. This year the Tigers didn't even wait until the second half of the season to disappoint.

I never watched Clemson or Tommy Bowden all that closely. Frankly, they didn't warrant my attention. Or anyone's really.

I can say that on the few occasions that I did check in on the Tigers I found Tommy Bowden to be most uninspiring. I think Clemson QB Cullen Harper might agree.

"He got what he deserved. (He) tried to motivate us but guys were off the bandwagon."

Ouch.

I guess Cullen's comments aren't all that surprising when you consider that Bowden attempted to save his job by benching the senior QB in favor of an inexperienced freshman yesterday. Guess that wasn't enough for the powers that be.

Probably the best news for everyone? We won't be subjected to those ridiculous 'Bowden Bowls' anymore. As if anyone wants to hear from Mrs. Bobby Bowden about anything, ever.

Closers are not impressive

Not even close.

I just watched Papelbon or whatever the fuck his name is close it out for the Sox in the first game of the ALCS against the Rays.

I'm not sure if there is a more overrated position in professional sports then MLB 'Closer'. These guys are so great?

My take is, if they were really worth a shit they wouldn't be closing, they'd be STARTING. From what I've seen of Major League Baseball, it appears to me that pitchers that can't hack it as a starter get sent to the 'pen.

When was the last time a bullpen pitcher turned into a reliable starter?

I know, it happens from time to time but really? Any great starters coming out of the bullpen lately?

And seriously, what's harder? Start the game trying to pitch a CG or roll in during the 9th inning to pitch to three guys that are tired from playing the entire game?

And with that being said, Mariano Rivera is the most overrated pro athlete in the history of sports! That's right! I said it!

Is he a good pitcher?

Absolutely.

If he were really 'great' would be he starting?

YES!

Throw smoke for more then 15 minutes. That's what I want to see.

Otherwise you're a practice dummy as far as I'm concerned.

Eff Papelbon. Eff Rivera.

And eff you too.

Good night.

My favorite subject!

That's right, it's time for more SEC boot-licking!

This time the role of town crier / village idiot is being played by the venerable Frank DeFord. I actually find this somewhat shocking coming from a writer I hold in such high esteem.

DeFord is originally from Baltimore and is Ivy League educated (Princeton). He's been writing for Sports Illustrated since the 1960's and is a regular contributor to National Public Radio.

That all being said, I couldn't disagree more with the guy on this one.

His latest effort is entitled simply "SEC teams suffer most from BCS".

[SIGH]

I'm not going to belabor this if I can control myself.

My first reaction is simply, REALLY?

I'm sorry, did I miss something or were the last two BCS national champions from the SEC? How about three of the last five also? Clearly the SEC is getting jobbed in all this.

How many two-loss BCS national champs have their been?

One.

What conference was that team from?

Yep, the SEC. Louisiana Sate University, 2007.

The day after Thanksgiving, one year ago, the mighty Tigers lost their LAST REGULAR SEASON HOME GAME. For most schools that means you don't get a shot at the national title. For an SEC school though it means 'just win your contrived conference championship game and you'll jump the six schools in front of you to reach the title game'.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying by any stretch that LSU wasn't the best team last year and didn't deserve to be in the national title game. Hardly. I would love to bitch about how they got to play that game right down the street from their campus but that's not material, it's just sour grapes from an Ohio State fan.

What I am saying is that anyone complaining about the SEC 'getting screwed' under the current system is a damn fool. A DAMN FOOL.

It is all but a foregone conclusion that the SEC champ will claim one spot in the BCS title game again this year. The Big XII looks extremely strong and the Southern Cal is still lurking. However, for the SEC Champ to be supplanted would be a mild upset at this point.

Of course, that's even when you consider that the SEC is CLEARLY not as strong this year as it has been recently. I mean Vanderbilt? Are you fuckin' kidding me?

I'm all for Vandy but if you think Vanderbilt beating the likes of Auburn and South Carolina is evidence of the SEC's toughness you're sniffing too much glue. No, a Vanderbilt team that is undefeated is evidence of how mediocre some of the supposed 'heavies' in that conference are in reality.

There is plenty more to criticize as far as Frank DeFord's article is concerned. Frankly, it's not worth addressing at the moment. Perhaps later.

In the meantime, 'Eff the Red Sox.'

Not this year...

After some contemplation, I have come to the realization that Ohio State will not get a shot at the national title this year.

I know that many have already accepted that fate and frankly, playing in the national title game is a rare priviledge, not a given. That fact is of course is what has made that last two title games so hard to swallow. Consider of course that Ohio State won the national title in 1968 and didn't win another until 2002.

Although it's actually easier for a school like Ohio State to win it in the BCS era then otherwise. That's another discussion though.

My point here is the following.

There is no doubt that the Buckeyes have to win all of their remaining games to get to Miami. They removed all margin for error when they got clowned by Southern Cal.

Here is the problem facing the Buckeyes this season. Normally one early loss would not quash all possibility of getting back in the mix. However, what is different this year is the fact that Michigan stinks.

Yep, the enduring image left with voters at the end of the season this year will be Ohio State beating Michigan at home. That victory (and this is meant as no guarantee at all) will hold little weight with the voters this year.

And after the Michigan-Ohio State game? There will be two more weeks of regular season and conference title games. It's unlikely that even an impressive win over Michigan will be perceived as significant in the eyes of the voters.

Unfortunately the Buckeyes have used up all the benefit of the doubt at this point. The last two years of polling have shown us that when final ballots are due, you can somewhat dismiss what we've seen previously.

It ain't happenin' this year.

That's not the end of the world though.

The future is bright.

Terrelle is a freshman after all.

We'll see where the season takes us.

Bengals...dirt nap!

That's the Bengals.

Yep, the game was much closer then expected. Yep, Dallas failed to cover the spread. Yep, the Bengals could maybe have even won the game were they not, the Bengals.

The ability of the Bengals to play just well enough to make you believe before pulling the rug out from under you is astonishing. Simply astonishing.

The good news? The perfect season is still intact! Winless!

Lucky me. I get to see these assholes again next week when they visit the Jets. I'm sure it'll be just grand.

And finally, Terrell Owens, the whiniest, most narcissistic douchebag to ever wear a uniform had two catches today including a 57-yard TD. His team won a hard fought game today. How much do you want to bet he's in the locker room bitching this very minute?

Someone notify the authorities...

I just realized that with Chris Henry coming off suspension and Cedric Benson on the active roster for today's game, that this could really get out of hand. You've got those two miscreants in the orange and black. Then on the other side of the ball is Tank Johnson and Adam Jones.

Wow.

And the Bengals just did one of the most Bengal-like things I've ever seen.

They managed to down a punt at the Cowboy's one. They're good at punting. They do it a lot.

Except the guy that actually downed the ball had run out of bounds and then was the first to touch the ball. You can't do that you fuckin' idiot.

The best part is that there were no less then four other Bengals standing around the ball, any of which could have downed it. Morons!

So instead of starting at the one, the Cowboys start at the 20. Brilliant.

Congrats are in order. The first quarter is over and the 'Boys aren't covering.

Bengals-Cowboys underway...

Carson Palmer has apparently ditched the skirt in favor of...the really tight pants he wears football in. He started the game today despite a nagging injury.

And he got off to a good start. The very first play from scrimmage featured Carson Palmer throwing the ball to a Dallas defensive back. Nice work.

The Bengals can't do anything right. They should have turned it over on the kick return to speed things up.

The spread is 17.5. That's the largest spread on the board this weekend by more then a TD. Yet this is the national game on Fox. Go figure. Apparently Cowboys' 'Star Power' is the only force great enough to nullify the Bengals cosmic ineptitude.

I don't think Dallas covers. The games where you think the Bagels are going to get blown out are the ones where they actually show up, give you hope, then lose in spectacular fashion right at the end.

Of course, as I type that Dallas scores a TD on 4th and 4 from the 40 yard line and the 'Boys are up 10-0. They didn't hesitate for a second to go for it. Why would you?

Glenn Holt the Bengals kick returner is going to be the most worn out guy on the field by the end of the game.

Oh, and we have a Bobby Carpenter sighting! I guess he's being unimpressive full time as a special teamer these days in Dallas.

Cameron Heyward pads his stats by tackling Malcolm Jenkins...

Cameron managed to tackle Malcolm after the pick while trying to throw a block. In fairness to Cameron, Malcolm cut right into him. Still, would have been nice of Malcolm Jenkins had been able to take it home. A little salt in the wound for the Badgers.

Anyone notice that the two best players on the team right now have the same number? Jenkins on defense and TP on offense. The Deuce is loose. Indeed!

And speaking of Cameron and Malcolm. Check out Cameron Heyward standing there with the "I just want to get back on the field and kill someone" look while Malcolm jumps around like an idiot.

Beanie

It wasn't strictly the 'TP Show' last night in Madison.

Chris Wells carried the load and did the dirty work.

You can catch his impressive first quarter TD run here. You can see him mouth the words, "Excuse me sir, I'm on my way to the endzone, and I'm getting there by going through you."

You can also see Beanie drag Wisconsin defenders all over the field.

Oops, I think Jimmy heard me badmouthing him...

T-to-the-P

Terrelle Effin' Pryor!

The Real Deal. The Truth. The Hope. Tim Tebow is a fairy.

Hopefully that last drive against Wisconsin is what we'll be seeing from the talented youngster the rest of this season and for the next two years ahead. Although, I would prefer to watch Pryor do his thing while sitting on a comfortable three-touchdown lead.

Terrelle is undoubtedly tired today after carrying the hopes and dreams of Buckeye Nation on his shoulders for three hours last night. Now is no time to rest though TP. There are plenty of white women around campus that will need some of your time today.

It should be pointed out that Pryor and his teammates attempted to piss the game away several times during the decisive drive. Terrelle and Brian Hartline both fumbled. And some of those passes were scary looking floaters.

Incidentally, Brian Hartline's brother Mike Hartline, the starting QB for the University of Kentucky also fumbled yesterday against 'Bama. Mike was not lucky enough to have Brian Robiskie fall on the ball and save his ass.

And boy, that would have been strange if Robo had recovered a Mike Hartline fumble. Everyone would say, "Where did that guy come from? Why does he have a different uniform then everyone else? Why are their marijuana leaves on his helmet?"

If you want to read an overly dramatic description of TP's play from collegefootballnews.com you can link it here.

The photo above is evidence that James Laurinaitis actually played against Wisconsin. I sure didn't see him.

U-motherfuckin'-C!!

Yeah! Bearcat football! FEEL IT!!

Got to see Coach Brian Kelly's UC Bearcats for the first time tonight. As usual when watching Coach Kelly, I'm impressed. The offense is imaginative, the defense is aggressive. It's as if they're being coached to play beyond their collective ability. Quite a concept.

In the meantime, WE ARE MARSHALL!!

No really, we are Marshall. The Thundering Herd Head Coach is former Ohio State defensive coordinator Mark Snyder. And former UC Head Coach Rick Minter is the current defensive coordinator for Marshall. College football is an incredibly incestuous industry I guess. That's figuratively, not literally, as far as I know.

The Bearcats took down Marshall 33-10 in Huntington, WV tonight in front of one of the lamest 'white outs' I've seen yet. Can we get over this 'everybody wearing the same color' fad already? Wasn't this started by a Canadian NHL team in the first place? Do we really need to mimic anything that NHL fans do? Well, other then get drunk and demand fist fights.

Sure, Marshall is not a good team. They looked more like the Thundering Terd tonight. Their QB threw three INT's and probably should have been picked off at least two more times. His throws were so effing bad that the defenders couldn't even believe the ball was that far off target. Amidst their bewilderment they failed to close their hands around the ball.

It is important to point out though that UC scored 33 points with their THIRD STRING QB playing the whole game. Some guy named Chazz Anderson took the snaps. CHAZZ? Seriously?

That doesn't count Mr. Litigation, Ben Mauk either. You could count Mauk as another lost QB at then the Bearcats would be down to their fourth string QB. I repeat, a guy named Chazz.

Also, Coach Kelly spent the entire fourth quarter and the end of the third literally running out the clock. I don't think they threw a single pass in the fourth quarter. Woody Hayes is smiling down from heaven after watching the Bearcats grind out the clock.

I don't know if UC will win the Big East. They have a shot though. Especially if either of the other two QB's can come back and be effective.

That would be something if UC could get themselves into a BCS bowl game. Although that would almost assuredly mean Brian Kelly would be headed elsewhere. The next big-time program that needs to make a great hire would do well to go after BK.

Several good college football games this week already and it's not even Saturday. Although I guess it will be in about 30 minutes!