ESPN dickbags

Believe it or not I'm not here to bash Tim "The Virgin Warrior" Tebow again. There'll be plenty of chances for that before, during and after the NFL Draft. After that we'll have to wait for him struggling mightily in an NFL camp and lamenting the fact that he'll likely be lining up as a TE in the pro's before we can rip him again.

In the meantime, it seems the void left by The Great and Powerful Tebow has the braintrust over at ESPN scrambling for any topical college football news whatsoever. They're probably wondering if there will even be another season. Some inquiries have likely been sent to the NCAA wondering if the sport has been outlawed in light of the Tebow departure.

Anyway, all that aside. You see the guy in the picture here?

No, no, no, not the virgin, the other guy. You know who that is right?

Me neither. And I'm guessing almost everyone outside of the Greater Gainesville, FL area is in the dark as well.

Apparently that's the heir to the Virgin Warrior's throne, John Brantley. And the fact that 99% of ESPN's loyal minions have no idea who the guy is doesn't stop The Leader from giving him the full "US Weekly treatment." You know how Tiger Woods' kids can't go to school without some "media outlet" reporting what's in their lunchboxes? It seems that's the type of attention and scrutiny Mr. Brantley has to look forward to.

John Brantley's father has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. That is unfortunate.

Why in God's name anyone, anywhere thought anyone outside of the Brantley family needed to be informed of this is beyond my comprehension. And yet there it was right on the front page of ESPN.com in between discussion of the St. Louis Rams' draft options and IOC review of the Canadian women's hockey frat party.

For fucks' sake ESPN. Would you guys please get your collective heads out of your asses and try to focus on what made you the most powerful entity in televised sports? What is the possible relevance of John Brantley's father or his prostate to anyone not named Brantley?

The Kings of Snarky over at Deadspin.com summed this all up rather well.