Clown Camp

Sports Illustrated's Peter King kicks off his NFL training camp tour in Berea, OH at the training facilities of the Cleveland Browns. According to Peter, over 2,500 pathetic losers joined him at the practice field chanting "Superbowl" while the team stretched and ran around in short shorts. Get a fucking life people.

Expectations are high for the Clowns coming off a 10-6 season. The folks that run the league and the magic boxes in your living rooms think the Browns might have something to. Cleveland's crappy orange helmets will appear in prime time more then any other team in the league this season.

The Browns added big-money-fat-man Shaun Rogers to the defensive line and speedy Donte' Stallworth to the receiving corps. Plus, Derek Anderson will presumably start out the season under center.

This is where the problems will start for the Clowns and their fans this season. Derek Anderson went to the Pro Bowl last year. For some reason though, there is a vocal minority of Browns fans out there that think Brady Quinn should be taking snaps. I would say that belief is largely based on the misguided sports axiom, "the grass is always greener."

Personally, I think Brady Quinn has bigger problems to worry about. That's another story though.

As soon as DA struggles, the cries for Brady will get louder. If Romeo Crennel pulls the trigger and names BQ the starter, you can pretty much bank on not making the playoffs. It is asking a little much for a guy with no experience to come in and lead a team (even one with this much talent) to the postseason.

One other item to keep an eye on is Kellen Winslow Jr. This guy's got 'shithead' written all over him.

It all started of course with him dismissing the Buckeyes prior to the 2002 national title game in Tempe, AZ. You didn't even win the game, much less dominate Mr. Fuckball.

Then there was the epic "I'm a #$%^@! soldier" rant. Then he claimed he should be paid #1 money even though he was picked 6th. Then he gimped out of the second game of the year and had to shut it down. Then he lost another entire season and damn near killed himself while doing his best Evel Knievel. Then he put himself in the same sentence as Antonio Gates before he had produced much of anything at all on the field.

To his credit, he has worked his way back from his injuries and is a quality TE. However, after four years in the league, he's only actually played in half the games while being paid first round money. Of course, that means it's time to bitch about my contract. I understand that the NFL is a rough business and that player's have to get what they can when they can. How about showing just a speck's worth of loyalty to the organization that could have jettisoned your stankin' ass and taken back your fat signing bonus? Asshole.

I fuckin' hate that guy. If I was in a room with K2, Charles Woodson and had a gun with one bullet it'd be a tough call.

For the record, I'd put the slug in the lucky guy's leg. I'm not a violent person, come on!

The Browns for whatever reason have a penchant for blowing it. Even last season a playoff berth appeared to be within their grasp but they couldn't get past a shitty Bengals team that ended up with a losing record late in the season. That basically ended any hope for extra games. Certainly that was not as spectacular as "The Drive" or "The Fumble" but it was the same general theme.

So clearly, the Browns have that going against them. They also are staring down the barrel of one of the toughest schedules in the league. Plus, the aforementioned expectations will make things a bit more dicey.

My guess is the Browns will be a disappointment this season. No playoffs! Better luck next year Cleve-burg. You'll have plenty of time to start bitching about the Indians in January.