Media Days! Media Days!

Nothing simultaneously screams "Football's coming, football's coming" and "MASSIVE WASTE OF TIME" like conference media days. The Southeastern Conference and the Big Ten are both having their respective luncheons/press conferences/gab fests this week. Clearly though, the SEC media days are better then the Big Ten media days. They just are, c'mon folks.

For more clarity on why the SEC Preseason Media gala is the best preseason media gala in the land, we go to another blog entry from the Atlanta Journal Constitution's Tony Barnhardt, A.K.A. "Mr. College Football."

"I have had the pleasure of attending media days for several different conferences over the course of my career including the ACC, the Big East, the Big Ten and of course, the SEC. I can now say without a doubt that the SEC media days are clearly superior to the media days of any other conference.

Here are just a few reasons why the SEC media days rule the land.

- The SEC media days are faster then those of the other conferences. Sure, the Southeastern Conference preseason media event takes two days while most other conferences only need one to complete their meetings and press conferences. The two days at the SEC event just seem faster though.

- Two words, Tim Tebow. Any excuse to have a conversation with the Heisman Trophy winner is a good one as far as I'm concerned. You should see the way he walks from one meeting room to another. It's impressive. What's not to like about this kid?

- The food. The SEC is unique in that they don't have their event catered by some fancy restaurant the way other conferences do. Instead, credentialed media are issued vouchers for the Denny's across the street. Yes! You can have your crepes and egg white omelets, give me the Grand Slam breakfast! And if you don't have time to run across the street to Denny's, they have a corn dog stand in the lobby.

- The location. The Big Ten has their annual event at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in downtown Chicago. The Big East setup shop at the Marriott Marquis on Times Square. The SEC goes for more "down home" locations. This year for example, the SEC media days are being held at the Motel 6 off Baker Avenue on the outskirts of Birmingham, Alabama.

- I got to talk to Tim Tebow about performing circumcisions while on a mission to the Philippines during the offseason.

- The groupies. The SEC fans are really the best fans. The SEC media days always attract an impressive number of middle-aged men with giant Bear Bryant tattoos on their backs.

- All the coaches and players at the Big Ten media days seem to want to talk about their schools. It makes it kind of hard to keep everything straight. It's much easier to follow along with the comments made at the SEC media days because they're mostly about how great the SEC is.

- Reporters are a comical bunch. They like a good laugh as much as the next guy. It sure seems like all my jokes that disparage minorities and women get a lot more laughs at the SEC media days.

- Tebow. Of course.

Wow. That's impressive Tony. You make quite an argument.

Here are a few more highlights from the first day of SEC media days. Unfortunately I don't have any of the jokes Tony told there.

- Tennessee head coach Phil Fulmer was subpoenaed! From ajc.com...

Just moments after Fulmer arrived at the Wynfrey Hotel he was served with a subpoena reportedly to give a deposition in the lawsuit of Alabama booster Wendell Smith against the NCAA. Early in the day Fulmer denied receiving such a subpoena. But when he was asked about it in the large room of print media, he said:

"I have not looked at it. This is not the place for this thing of thing," Fulmer said. "The fans of the Southeastern Conference are passionate about their sport and they are not interested in this kind of BS."

Oh on the contrary Phil, I think this is EXACTLY the kind of BS SEC fans are interested in. Incredibly, this is not the first time Fulmer has had to deal with this.

Fulmer did not attend the SEC media days four years ago because university attorneys advised against it for this very reason. The Mobile Press-Register reached the lawyers for Smith, whose lawsuit against the NCAA accuses Fulmer of being an informant for the NCAA in the investigation against Alabama.

You see folks, that's the difference between the SEC and everyone else. The NCAA investigates Ohio State, people complain and wait to see what happens. The NCAA investigates Alabama, and some asshole with too much spare time takes it upon himself to sue the NCAA while trying to paint a coach from another SEC school as a snitch.

Meanwhile, the sanctions the NCAA handed down have long since been endured and completed by Alabama. So essentially the only thing that this lawsuit will accomplish at this point is potentially embarrassing Tennessee head coach Phil Fulmer.

Clearly the money being spent on this lawsuit could be better spent if it was allocated to the Bear Bryant Tattoo Charitable Fund.

There will likely be more to report from SEC media days. That is of course assuming we don't have more major developments in the Brett Favre story.