More SEC vomit...

Had you forgotten that the SEC put America on the moon? You idiot.

Here's more evidence that the SEC is not just a great college football conference, it's also the driving force behind political and social improvement around the globe. Aren't we all lucky?!

First we have heir to the papal throne Tim Tebow! Sports Illustrated gushes over the greatness of "The Tebow" and his inability to do wrong. Many nations! Many wind sprints!

Tebow will unify Jews and Muslims under one great Gator! This is why coach Urban Meyer proclaims Tim Tebow, "the greatest player of our era."

Seriously, he said that shit.

I'm sure by "era", he means, since the dinosaurs roamed the earth. And I'm sure by "greatest" he means, somewhat better then Michael Vick in general.

What an asshole.

Oh, but SI is not alone in their love of all things SEC.

You've also got Sporting News' Matt Hayes telling everyone that, "While other conferences talk, SEC shows it's the best".

Really Matt? You want to rethink that statement while you're reporting from a fucking preseason press conference?

While it's true that almost every single one of the BCS conferences had their media days in the past week, I think it's a bit of stretch to suggest that even the mighty SEC "showed it's the best" during a bunch of luncheons and puffed-up press conferences.

For fucks' sake, this is the type of outrageous bullshit that makes me want to drive my car into the Hudson River.

Hayes' starts out his SEC blowjob by getting on his knees and quoting Florida head coach Urban "The Urban Meyer" Meyer.

"I was thinking as I walked in here," Meyer said. "There are nine teams that can win this conference championship. Nine. How do you even comprehend something like that?"

HOLY SHIT URBAN!? HOW DO YOU COMPREHEND THAT SHIT?!"

Well first of all you take a deep breath and remind yourself of just how fucking ridiculous that notion is. That's right Urban, you're a fucking moron!

Here's the conference roster real quick:

South Carolina
Auburn
Alabama
Georgia
Vanderbilt
Kentucky
Florida
Arkansas
Mississippi
LSU
Mississippi State
Tennessee

Here's the teams that actually have a shot at the SEC conference title:

Auburn
Georgia
Florida
LSU
Tennessee

That means that Urban Meyer is vastly overestimating four out of the following seven teams:

Mississippi
Kentucky
Arkansas
Mississippi State
Alabama
South Carolina
Vanderbilt

Any of those look like a potential SEC conference champ to you? Nope.

And what happens if one of those teams does win the conference? Do you think that makes the conference weaker then we all thought? ON THE CONTRARY! That makes the conference STRONGER then we all thought! Right!?

Other evidence from Matt Hayes regarding the greatness of the SEC?

There are five coaches who have won national championships, another who should have had the opportunity to play for one, and eight coaches whose salaries meet or exceed $2 million a year.

Should have! The great equalizer. That's pathetic.

Anyway, I love the fact that coaches' salaries are somehow evidence of their greatness. As if you couldn't pay any old shithead a great sum to coach your team and proclaim him worthy.

Oh wait, Notre Dame has already used that manuever.

And finally, from the one SEC coach we thought had his head on straight we get the ultimate in out-of-control hyperbole:

"It does include the NFL." said Rich Brooks, when asked if his statement that "The SEC is the most competitive league I've been in" included the NFL.

There you have it, I rest my case. If you doubt the SEC is superior to the United Nations or the Peace Corps, please write a letter to the great and powerful Rich Brooks.