Random BS...

- Thank Touchdown Jesus for Notre Dame. That salvaged the day in my opinion. Ohio State's performance against Ohio University was pathetic(that's an understatement). I know it was painful for you, now imagine watching it while sitting next to an OU alum...that you're engaged to. Good times.

- The Bobcats taking a lead into the fourth quarter in the 'Shoe has to rank right up there with other notable Ohio University athletic accomplishments. The only other one that comes to mind is head coach Frank Solich getting arrested for DUI while passed out in a car that was aimed the wrong way down a one-way street. Nice! Athens was always a good time.

- Spread for the OSU-USC game is rising by the minute. It was about twelve by the time Ohio State kicked off against Miami six years ago after rising as high as 14. I wouldn't be surprised if this one settles in right at the double-digit mark (that's 10 for those of you scoring at home).

- Buckeyes dropped to five in the latest polls. They're lucky to be there. I'd rank East Carolina ahead of Ohio State right now.

- Lots of people bitching about the penalty at the end of the Washington-BYU game. You know what? It was the right call. Yeah it's disappointing to see a game swing like that on what was clearly an uncessary infraction. Locker should have known better. Put the ball down...hand it to the official. It's right there in the rule book.

Plus, that penalty DID NOT cost Washington the game. It cost Washington the chance to kick a "regular" extra point and send the game into OT. Washington could have lost the game in OT. Washington could have missed the try from the normal distance. The Cougars appeared to have 37 guys in on the eventual block. They could have done the same from the two yard line.

And finally, good teams convert 30 yard FG's. In the waning years of the Cooper era the Buckeyes would get flagged regularly for celebration penalties, taunting, etc. They never had trouble converting the extra point.

Get your head out of your ass Locker.

Ray Small: Genius

It's always the WR's isn't it?

David Boston...Terry Glenn...Terrell Owens...Chad Whatever-the-fuck-his name is. Now Ray Small.

Maybe when Ray got his bell rung last season against Minnesota there was permanent damage. He landed himself in the doghouse during the offseason to the point that he's listed with the walk-ons in the media guide.

As far as that debacle yesterday is concerned, he's the only player on the whole team that distinguished himself. Everyone else pretty much to a man stunk up the joint.

So what does he do? He follows it up by badmouthing USC. Well done Ray.

From the LA Times:

Ohio State's lackluster performance Saturday against Ohio will no doubt make the topics list when USC reconvenes for a team meeting tonight.

And the starting point, among players anyway, could very well be Buckeyes wide receiver Ray Small.

Small caught five passes and returned a punt for a touchdown, but it was his post-game comments that are sure to incite the Trojans.

Small, a junior from Cleveland, told ESPN.com's Adam Rittenberg that he visited Ohio State and USC when he was being recruited out of high school.

"As I took my visit to USC, I'm like, 'How are they successful? They're not even serious about the game,' " Small said. "Before the game, they're all going crazy. Me and [Buckeyes defensive end] Rob Rose was on the visit and I'm looking like, 'Wow.' And then the coach said, 'You better get out of here. It's 'bout to get hectic.'

"And then I come [to Ohio State] on the visit and before the game, it's all quiet, everybody getting taped, coaches talking. It's the total opposite."

Citing comments made by former USC quarterback Carson Palmer about the Buckeyes and their fans, Small described the difference between the programs as, "a class thing."

"Here at Ohio State, they teach you to be a better man," Small said. "There, it's just all about football."

Genius.

Although I will say, that if USC needed some stupid comments from a stupid, mediocre WR to get fired up for this game, they've got bigger problems then the Buckeyes.

At the end of the day Ray, it's about wins and losses. That's why you play the games.

Still seeking respect?

It's been six years, and yet there are still plenty of shitheads willing to bring up a perceived "phantom call" that pro-longed the national title game against Miami in January of 2003.

Perhaps it's more important that I get over it...as opposed to everyone else.

I suppose there are plenty that still can't believe the mighty, mighty Hurricanes could lose to slow, steady Ohio State. Guess what? It happened.

Amazingly, it happened again not much later when the "greatest team of all time", Southern Cal, lost to Texas. I guess lightening actually can strike twice.

Check out Sporting News' Matt Hayes get intellecually lazy...

2. Didn't you used to be ... ?

A case study in how fast things can go south (and how important the right coach has become): Miami (Fla.) began this decade with more talent, more want-to, more get-after-it than any team in the nation.

If it weren't for a screwy BCS system and a trigger-happy back judge, the Hurricanes could've begun this decade with three consecutive national titles. Somehow, despite the fact that it beat Florida State and both had the same record, Miami missed out on the 2000 national championship after the BCS computer spit out the 'Noles -- who promptly couldn't score a point to save their very lives against Oklahoma.

So the Canes came back in 2001 and rolled Nebraska for the national title, and then cruised through 2002 only to be hosed by a late call from a back judge in the national title game against Ohio State.

And now where is Miami?

Five years later, the Canes lost to Virginia by 48 points in the last game at the old Orange Bowl. And now, here we are with a game against bitter rival Florida, the team that for years refused to schedule the Canes because, well, life is tough in the Ess. EEE. See.

A valid argument can be made that the phantom pass interference call against Ohio State -- come on, Buck fans, you know it was a horrible call -- was the beginning of the end for the Miami program. The Canes have lost 21 games in five years since the Fiasco Bowl, after losing twice in the three years before.

What does this all mean for the Florida game? A hint: it gets worse before it gets better.

Hey, I'm 32!

While watching the Navy - Ball State game, I just heard the announcers...announce...that Ball State has a 32-year-old starting defensive lineman.

I just checked with the NCAA. I do indeed have four years of eligibility left.

More later, I'm going to the gym.

UCF asks fans to help control the pet population...

I actually read this on the Orlando Sentinel's website just now:

UCF officials are reminding fans to leave their pets at home on game day. Fans are not allowed to bring dogs to tailgate parties on campus, no matter how tame the pets are or how much they enjoy a nice cookout. Service aid dogs are the only animals allowed on campus.

In the past, I was told UCF has had to deal with goats, pigs, rabbits, cats and dogs on game days. Seriously, goats and pigs. The school only had to deal with traditional pets during the Knights' season opening game against South Carolina State last week.

UCF officials said they are concerned about fans' safety and will not be lenient with the pet policy this weekend or for the remainder of the football season. If fans bring pets on campus, they will be asked to leave and take the animals home.

Wow.

This is why we love (HATE) Miami football

Never mind that you went 5-7 last year. Never mind that you haven't won a game of consequence since...2002. Never mind you're facing one of the juggernauts of our time, the Florida Gators and Tim Tebow. Run your mouth anyway.

It really worked well for Florida State leading up to their 45-12 loss to the Gators last season.

And yet, here's the direct quotes from the Miami Herald...

You see that 'U' on your helmet and you feel stronger.

So you rise up and talk back. Emboldened by Miami's six-game series winning streak, you hark back to the days when the capital of football in this state was Coral Gables.

''We want to show them the University of Miami still rules the state of Florida,'' said center Xavier Shannon, the coach's son. ``We wanted the game at 8 o'clock. Let all the other games get out the way, and everybody else can see us play. I believe it's zero and six lately for Florida. We want to keep it that way. We plan on winning this game.''

Shannon calls Javarris James and Graig Cooper the best running back tandem in the country and said, ``That's what they have to worry about. We feel [our offensive line] can dominate anyone in the country, and that's what we plan on doing.''

Safety Anthony Reddick called the three-touchdown point spread ''insulting'' and said of Florida's offensive speed, ``Are they going to be able to match up with our defense?''

No wonder it's so easy to root against these clowns. No wonder they rag Ohio State every chance they get. Why? Because the Hurricanes haven't won SHIT since we took their two-touchdown spread and shoved it up their ass in Tempe, AZ five years ago.

Keep bitching about "phantom pass interference calls" while you're losing more games then you're winning. We'll keep winning our conference and just about everyone else we face. You keep chasing some bullshit division title in the ACC.

There are few instances when I'd root for Florida. And frankly, Miami beating Florida would be entertaining. However, seeing loudmouth ne'er-do-wells get a healthy serving of "shut the fuck up" would be just as good, I think.

VANDY COULD WIN THE BIG TEN!

Yep. They're just...fantastic!

South Carolina could win...the Arena League...maybe.

The end of college football as we know it?

I have suspected and projected for some time now that if the SECer's get what they want, they'll effectively ruin college football as we know it.

What do they want?

For starters, an eight-team playoff.

Of course, they're not the only ones that want a large format playoff but their reasons are much different then others.

Some think that a playoff is the only way to fairly assess a champion. I would tell those people that tournaments are great, but they render the regular season for the most part meaningless. I mean, regular season NCAA basketball is riveting now isn't it?

The SECer's will tell you that it's just not fair that more SEC teams don't get a shot at the title every year. They're clearly the best conference (according to them), and they're just not satisfied with national titles. It's not good enough to have one SEC team playing for it all, they want two.

And guess what? If you had a four-team playoff? They'd want all four teams to be SEC schools! Naturally. That's how God or Bear Bryant intended it apparently.

As I've said before, one of the things that SEC fans don't realize is that they NEED the rest of the teams around the country to confirm that they are indeed the best in the land. They feel just beating up on each other is enough evidence. Guess what folks!? It's not.

And let me step back and explain one other factoid that bears mentioning. The SEC either doesn't care what the rest of the country thinks about inter-conference SEC battles, or grossly-overestimates their ability to care about those games.

I mentioned earlier that Vanderbilt is a bottom-feeder SEC school that hasn't been to a bowl in 25 years and yet some think they would be competing for conference titles in other conferences. That's...probably not true.

The Worldwide Leader flashed a graphic tonight showing all the longest bowl droughts in the country, by team. Again, Vandy hasn't been to a bowl in 25 YEARS. For those of you that have trouble with math (like me), that goes back almost to the Carter administration.

And yet, Mr. SMU, Craig James felt the need to point out that no one else on the list "had to face the SEC." That's true Craig, except for the fact that the dominance of the SEC only dates back about five years, NOT BACK TO THE BEGINNING OF TIME!

That's what some people don't seem to realize. While the SEC is clearly a force these days, it's not like they have ruled college football since its inception in the late 1800's.

The first college football game ever was played in New Jersey, not Tuscaloosa. Our southern brethren were too busy fending off carpetbaggers in the late 1800's to worry about "foosball." Oh, but I'm sure when Sherman burned Atlanta to the ground he spared Georgia Tech's football facilities.

Anyway, this tirade was spurned by the wise words of Pete Fiutak from collegefootballnews.com. Judge the impending effect for yourself:

The challenge flag needs to be thrown on ESPN’s 15-year, $2.25 billion deal with the SEC. It’s one thing for a league to have its own network, like the Big Ten has, but it’s another to have one of the major media outlets be so intertwined both financially and logistically with one single college football conference. ESPN is it. This is the big bad boy on the block, and now that it has become ESPNSEC, all other leagues will be fighting a tough uphill battle to compete.

ESPN is an entertainment company, not a news service. It’s going to be all SEC football, all the time with shows, promos, and everything the big menace can do to milk every last dime out of this relationship. You can guarantee that the first three college football news items are always going to be SEC related, tied in to a slew of promos for other SEC shows, while the recruiting advantage will become even more unbalanced than most already think it is.

And then there’s the money factor. $2.25 billion, when the trickle down effect occurs, means the SEC teams will have better facilities, better coaches, and better overall programs than anyone else can possibly come up with. In other words, if you’re a Big East or ACC team with national title dreams, take care of business now.

OSU vs. YSU (43-0)

Color me NOT IMPRESSED.

Through the magic of the Big Ten Network I just took in the Youngstown State game for the first time last night. Thanks Comcast!

By the way, the channel guide clearly indicated ‘Ohio State vs. Youngstown State’ and yet when I booted up the plasma last Saturday I was presented instead with the epic battle between Coastal Carolina and Penn State. Thanks Comcast!

Not only that, but for some effin’ reason they replayed every single game the Big Ten Network had carried on Sunday, EXCEPT of course for OSU vs. YSU. Genius. Way to keep making friends BTN.

Oh, and their cameramen can’t seem to follow any play with even the slightest bit of misdirection. Terrelle Pryor looks left then runs right and suddenly all you’re seeing is Alex Boone scratching his crotch while TP races down the field.

The only positive thing I’ll say about watching the BTN replay is that they condense the game down to two hours with minimal commercials. So essentially what I’m saying is that everything about the Big Ten Network totally sucks, except for the guy doing their video editing, he’s money.

Anyway, here are my observations regarding the glorified scrimmage against the mighty FCS / D1-AA Youngstown State Penguins.

Todd Boeckman looks about as crisp as an envelope that’s been sitting in water for three days. So he’s in midseason form. His passes have all the velocity of a cable car meandering down the field as if they’re taking in the scenery.

Plus, this fucking guy’s been in the program for ten years now and still can’t throw a deep ball!? He’s still chucking up jump balls to Robiskie and Hartline. Hey Todd! There is no alley-oop in football!

And speaking of Heckle and Jeckle, what’s the deal with Robo and Hartline? They always seem to have a defender on top of them. I pondered this briefly and have come to the conclusion that this phenomenon is actually a combination of two circumstances.

First off, no one should be shocked to learn that neither Robiskie or Hartline possess the blazing speed that Gonzalez and Ginn had. They’re simply a step slower.

Perhaps more importantly, Boeckman’s slow read and release is a major factor. Side-by-side in your head Troy Smith unloading a laser downfield as compared to Boeckman’s passes. Todd might as well be participating in a water balloon toss the way he throws the ball.

Keep in mind, this is against the fucking Penguins' DB’s, not say, the Hokies.

Todd Boeckman has roughly a decade of collegiate coaching under his belt and still looks like he’s playing his second game ever. Conversely, T-to-the-motherfuckin’-P comes into his first game as a college football player and shows some moves.

I would play Terrelle Pryor for HALF of the offensive snaps against Ohio University this weekend. I’m telling you right now, we’re going to be utilizing a full-blown two QB system by the end of the season, because Pryor may be just that good.

Also on the offensive side of the ball:

- How do Youngstown State defensive linemen blow by Ohio State offensive linemen? Wasn’t this the same act we saw against LSU?

- Beanie Wells is made of glass. Fortunately it appears he’ll be a go for USC. I wouldn’t even THINK about playing him a down against the Bobcats this weekend. It’s just not worth it.

- Holy shit! We passed the ball to a tight end! Who knew we even had tight ends!?

As for the defense, they certainly did their job. At first I was concerned that the defensive line was not getting enough pressure but then I realized that YSU was almost never dropping back and trying to pass. The stats speak for themselves though, YSU was held to 74 yards of total offense. Only one team (Oklahoma), held the opposition to fewer years in Week One.

Aside from that, there’s not much to say about the defense except, WHY IN THE HELL CAN’T OUR DEFENSIVE BACKS CATCH BALLS THAT HIT THEM IN THE FUCKIN’ HANDS!? I’m tired of that shit already.

Now, you may think I’m being awfully harsh on Ohio State particularly when you consider that they held the opponent to less then 100 yards of offense and won 43-0. And you know what, I am. However, I saw most of the USC-UVA game though and I keep comparing that performance to Ohio State’s.

What it boils down to is I’m tired of seeing my Buckeyes get pantsed on national television by the elite teams in the country. Guess what? It’s possible, possible, that the Southern Cal team we’re going to play in a week is better then the Florida team we played two years ago and better then the LSU team we played last year. Possible.

Having great stats against the Big Ten is wonderful. That makes Ohio State the equivalent of Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles, King of the Dickheads.

If you didn’t see USC take on Virginia, well, I'm sure you've heard by now, they were quite impressive. The Buckeyes dropped 43 on Youngstown State. The Trojans popped Virginia for 52! Oh, and they did so on the road, 3,000 miles from home, against a full-blown BCS school that went to a bowl last year.

Stalled drives aren’t going to cut it against the Trojans. I saw way too much Ryan Pretorious last weekend. Maybe we should just challenge them to a field goal kicking contest instead of a full-blown football game? How about a chess match at midfield between Jim Bauserman and Mark Sanchez?

It should be pointed out that Ohio State certainly didn't play their starters all game last Saturday. Clearly USC did. Except for the RB position of course. They had four different 'backs take it in for a score.

We'll see what the Buckeyes have to say against the Bobcats this weekend.

Some Thursday night tidbits

- Daunte Culpepper is hanging it up at the tender age of 31. If you think that's young talk to Quinn Pitcock.

Kind of amazing when you consider the stats he put up only four years ago. Had it not been for Peyton Manning having an absolute all-timer of a season the pride of Central Florida probably would have been MVP of the league.

In his retirement e-mail, he blamed everyone except for himself for his inability to find another gig. According to ESPN he turned down the chance to be a backup at both Green Bay and Pittsburgh this season. Boy that's a shame, I wonder how many QB's out there would be willing to take one more shot riding the bench somewhere?

You'll notice that even with the miserable QB situation the Raiders had last season that Culpepper was only able to start five games. You'll also notice that new Vikings head coach Brad Childress took about ten minutes to get rid of Culpepper.

On the one hand, the guy could have been one of the greats and his body clearly failed him. I've said it 100 times before and I'll say it 100 times more, the NFL is a brutal, brutal business and you can go from hero to zero in a nanosecond.

On the other hand, when you're a reasonably-talented, 31-year-old NFL QB that can't get a job, the giant red flag that is being projected onto every Jumbotron across the country is "ASSHOLE-ASSHOLE-ASSHOLE." Just a guess here, but I think Barry Bonds and Daunte Culpepper might have a lot in common. Very talented athletes that just aren't worth the trouble.

At least Culpepper had the wherewithal to walk out the door with his head up instead of waiting around aimlessly for the next few years. Then again, would anyone at all be surprised if he came out of retirement two weeks from now?

- Vanderbilt vs. South Carolina tonight. An entertaining game thus far. Of course, if Vandy can somehow beat Spurrier's 'Cocks, it's just more proof of how talented the SEC is. Illinois beats Ohio State and is proof of how shitty the Big Ten is. I'm still waiting for someone to explain that to me.

Vanderbilt had a nice win at Miami (OH) last weekend. That caused some asshole to say on national TV, "If Vanderbilt played in the ACC they'd be quite competitive." That may or may not be true. None of it changes the fact that Vandy hasn't been to a bowl game in 25 years if I'm not mistaken.

That's right, in the face of overwhelming evidence I can still badmouth the SEC. Hey, if Charlie Weis supporters can do it, so can I.

- Beanie will not go this weekend. That's the right move, regardless of his condition.

- HUGE game for the UC Bearcats this weekend at Oklahoma. A very tall order for Coach Kelly's 'Cats.

My personal feeling is that UC doesn't even need to win this game, they just need to keep it close going into the fourth quarter. Moral victories against the likes of an Oklahoma are valuable when you're building a program. If UC can hang with the Sooners, imagine what they could do to the rest of the Big East.

- Florida State will go with QB Christian Ponder to start this weekend against whatever high school they're playing. Gotta be somewhat of a jolt for Drew Weatherford coming off of what was probably his best season statistically.

Unfortunately Drew, that was also the second consecutive 7-6 season for the Seminoles. Florida State is not a program that's accustomed to such mediocre accomplishments.

In this case it's hard to disagree with Jimbo Fisher's decision. We've seen plenty of DW, and he's a known quantity. Some new blood is probably called for at this point. I'm guessing Weatherford will get snaps at some point this season though.

From the Columbus Dispatch...

I'd say that's pretty accurate.

Losing your job? Steal the new guy's luggage.

Like we haven't all done this.

Of all the dumb stories I've ever heard out of the NFL, this one's up there at the top of the list.

Rudi Johnson gets cut by the Bengals and comes to Detroit to negotiate a contract. So of course, one of the current RB's at Detroit figures he'll take matters into his own hands.

According video evidence inside the Lions' HQ's, it was none other then back-up RB Tatum Bell that swiped Rudi's gear. Maybe that total and complete lack of elusiveness was the reason why you're being replaced Tatum?

Rough start for UC football

Good Lord.

Let's hope they have a stronger showing against Oklahoma this weekend.

Would have been rough to start the season with a mascot fatality, which we're glad to report did not happen.

Beanie's foot and Trojans' poll

Beanie may in fact be OK and ready to go for USC. My personal feeling after watching USC is that if we don't have Chris Wells at about 80% we're going to have a hard time beating those guys. They look damn good.

Why in God's name would Tressel even think about putting Beanie in against Ohio University? I don't think he will, but I think every one's mindset should be, "No Chris Wells this week, regardless."

Southern Cal has vaulted to the top of both polls if I'm not mistaken and I think that's accurate based on the first week. Georgia and Ohio State would have needed to drop 80 on Georgia Southern and Youngstown State respectively if they wanted to be considered remotely as impressive as the 52-7 that USC put up.

After another boring victory over the Bobcats this weekend, it'll be more of the "Trojans will crush Ohio State" all week leading up to the game. So far I have the NY Times Bill Rhoden, the LA Times Bill Plaschke and the "I'm a fuckhead's" Jay Marrioti on record as saying OSU will "get killed". I'm going to add to that list over the next two weeks. There will be plenty of others.

There will be plenty more to say about OSU-USC over the next two weeks. I'm just glad USC will be over-confident going into this one!

The only thing that worries me right now is that USC will now have two weeks to get ready for Ohio State. As previously noted though, Pete Carroll can't win close games.

More to come...

Best for last

For those of us sick of the SEC dominating after less then one week of the 2008 season, UCLA's overtime victory over Tennessee was sweet relief.

I'm still trying to figure out how the Vols failed to extend more of a lead in the first half after four UCLA INT's. Even after what appeared to be an extremely demoralizing pick-six by UT late in the first half, Rocky Top was only up by a TD.

The real question of course is does Tennessee stink? Maybe. Volunteer fans can't deny the following, Phil Fulmer is really, really fat.

And I hate to make too many observations based on only one game. It's possible that this game will ultimately mark the day the power started to shift back to Westwood as far as college football in L.A. is concerned.

For those of you that have never been to UCLA, the campus is ridiculous. If you walk around that place on a sunny day and don't want to enroll immediately you're either dead or in need of a lobotomy.

The point being, yes Southern Cal has something going that has not been seen in some time. The Bruins have something to offer though too. If I'm Rick Neuheisel the plan is simple.

- Stick to southern CA as far recruiting is concerned. There is enough talent there to keep both the Trojans and the Bruins stocked for years.

- Convince recruits that they have a far easier road to a starting slot at UCLA then they will at Southern Cal

- Sell Westwood. Then tell them about how students still get regularly carjacked around the USC campus which is located in south central Los Angeles.

- Win.

Neuheisel has shown he can win at Colorado and Washington. My guess is after being exiled from college football for five years that he'll keep his nose clean going forward as far as the NCAA is concerned.

Last night you also saw a depleted UCLA team gut out a very nice win against a quality opponent. I'm guessing if you went man-for-man on those two rosters last night that UCLA would appear somewhat in terms of measurables. And yet there were the Bruins gutting out a win against the Tennessee Volunteers after an abysmal first half of offensive football.

I'm not going to take much away from Pete Carroll here. However, the few close games they've been in as of late, I seem to remember them losing. When Southern Cal wins, it seems to be by 30 more often then not. The Stanford game and Texas games stand out as recent examples of Southern Cal not being able to handle tight games. It's not surprising considering they crush almost everyone.

Last night Rick Neuheisel showed he can do just that, and here's to ya Ricky! Ultimately what I'm hoping is that UCLA can take some of the air out of the USC sails going forward. We'll see.