The clock is ticking...

When the earth inevitably hurtles into the sun at some point as the result of a massive rift in the space-time continuum, we will know where it all started. It started in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. It started with LSU Head Football Coach Les Miles and Calvin Broadus.

Most of you know Calvin by another name, Snoop Dogg, A.K.A. Snoop Doggy Dogg, A.K.A. The Dogfather, A.K.A. Snoop-in-the-coupe, A.K.A. Big Snoop Dogg, A.K.A. D-O-Double-G, A.K.A. Snizzle Dizzle on the Rizzle. If I got any of that wrong, I have an excuse, I'm 32 and I'm a white guy from the suburbs.

Ironically, the dudes in the demographic I just described have bought more Snoop CD's then every other consumer demo in the country.

But I digress...

I'm not even sure where to start with this one.

Snoop showed up at a Rotary Club meeting Les Miles was speaking at in Baton Rouge, LA this week. We can stop right there before going any further.

Snoop has time for fucking Rotary Club meetings? Good God.

I think this all started a year ago when Les Miles (who is a blowhard and a buffoon and yet apparently a very good football coach) 'called out USC' at an LSU booster function. He ripped the PAC-10 for being a weak conference and essentially named Southern Cal a paper tiger.

Mr. Broadus is perhaps not just some fair weather college football fan. He did not take too kindly to Coach Miles comments about his hometown Trojans. For those of you that have been underground for the last five years, LSU fans and USC fans despise each other enough to put up billboards proclaiming their hatred.

To be perfectly honest, I'm actually with the LSU folks on that one. Many would call USC the 'team of the decade' if it was calculated today. However, for all their wins and success, they've still only won one BCS title since 1999, the same number as Ohio State. That AP bullshit simply doesn't count, it's that simple.

In the wake of this 'diss' (to use the parlance of our times), Snoop did what every successful rapper does when they have 'beef' with someone. He laid down a beat, smoked a spliff, recorded himself denigrating Les Miles and the SEC, then released it via the internet.

I gotta be honest, I liked it better when Biggy and 2Pac would straight-up shoot at one another in the streets. Digitally recording your inner monologue from your multi-million dollar mansion then releasing it on the internet? I mean, this isn't exactly 'Doughboy' seeking vengeance at the end of 'Boyz In The Hood' now is it?

By the way, if you've never heard Snoop's comments regarding Les Miles, it is by all means worth a listen. I haven't the slightest idea how I missed this a year ago. It's almost too good to be true.

The best part is that Snoop seems less concerned with Les' characterization of the PAC-10 as weak and more concerned with Coach Miles calling a timeout with the clocked already stopped at some point? It's just about all the way over my bald head. Cripes.

Anyway, is this progress or the opposite?

You've got the LSU head coach embracing an unabashed Southern Cal fan.

You've got a 40-something successful college football coach in the south hob-knobbing with Snoop Dogg and dare I say...rapping? What was he doing there anyway? Popping and locking? Was he waiting for Snoop to engage in The Hustle?

You can catch the footage of 'The Hat' doing whatever the hell he was doing at espn.com.

And, let's not let Mr. Broadus off the hook here. For someone that has made a living selling images of gang-banging and thuggery, what in the fuck are you doing at a goddamn Rotary Club meeting!?

I really believe this is the beginning of the end. Global warming? No, that's not the issue. The problem is in fact global migration, as in this globe is moving towards that giant fireball in the sky.

Say a prayer.