O-H-I-O

Grand ironies are the spice of life...

Entering the 2008 NFL season, the Cleveland Browns had the momentum. The team was coming off a 10-6 season and barely missed the playoffs. There was talent all over the offensive side of the ball and the Browns managed to snag massive DT Sean Rogers away from the Detroit Lions while the Cincinnati Bengals were attempting to do the same.

All this resulted in the Browns being slated for more prime time appearances then any other NFL team. It also resulted in great expectations amongst the infinitely gullible Cleveland Browns fans.

The Bengals on the other hand, are a disgrace. One winning season in the last 18 years. Wow, that is pathetic.

However, following today's 14-0 Bengals victory in Cleveland Browns Stadium, you have to wonder if the momentum hasn't jumped from northern Ohio to southern Ohio. And trust me, the game was not as close as the score indicates. It was however as pathetic as the score indicates.

The Bengals now have three wins on the season. The Browns have...four. There is a very strong possibility that both Ohio NFL teams could end up with the same record.

I guess all that Cleveland Browns optimism was a bit premature wasn't it?

The Browns will start next season with a new head coach more then likely. Perhaps a new GM as well. The QB situation is still messy up there with both Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn injured. The third-stringer, Ken Dorsey is dismal. He was benched today for former Tampa Bay Buccaneer Bruce Gradkowski, who promptely tossed up the fourth Cleveland INT of the day.

The Bengals on the other hand will get Carson Palmer back, will have a young established running back (Cedric Benson) and might even jetison mediocre malcontent Chad Johnson. When the Bengals have the stars aligned like this lookout. I am predicting eight wins for 2009.

R&L Carrier New Orleans Bowl, feel it!!

Awesome start for the Southern Mississippi Golden Eagles! Brett Favre's alma mater is putting on quite a display of ineptitude.

They pulled a "USC" and decided to wear their home uniforms instead of "the whites". Consequently Southern Miss was docked a timeout after the first play of the game. The Eagles followed that up with a false start.

On play number three, the USM QB had his option pitched batted down by a Troy defender who then took the bounce to the house. Perfect!

On the ensuing kickoff an impressive return to midfield was negated by yet another penalty against Southern Miss.

Elapsed time, one minute.

So if you're scoring at home, that's three penalties and a fumble returned for a score in the first minute for the Eagles.

Well done.

Stop blaming the BCS

"Check out this sweet brown paper bag!"

"I'd also like to announce that I don't understand the nuances of the BCS."

Thanks Troy. 'Preciate it.

I'm watching the Cowboys-Steelers game. A real barn-burner. I know the weather sucks but 3-3 at halftime? Sweet.

To advertise the BCS Bowl game announcements later tonight, they have Joe Buck read a quick promo. After praising Florida, Alabama and Oklahoma, Troy then states, "I'm not sure about this BCS stuff. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say it should be decided on the field." He then states that Texas is getting screwed in so many words.

First off, it should be pointed out that Troy Aikman almost certainly spends much of his time in Dallas if he doesn't live there full-time. That means he is likely hearing from the very pro-Longhorns fans much of the time. That's just a sidenote that speaks to potential bias, not that we aren't all biased in some way or another.

More importantly here, STOP blaming the BCS for the Big XII South debacle. The blame for that situation falls at the feet of the Big XII, not the BCS.

The BCS was not created to determine divisional tie-breakers. It was created to try and put the #1 and #2 teams in a title game at the end of the season. Well, that and make a whole bunch of money for the affiliated bowl games.

I still think there are a whole lot more sports fans out there that understand what the BCS is and that a playoff is a virtual impossibility. It is amazing to me how many people spend so much time pining for a playoff every year. What has all that bitching gotten them? Absolutely nothing. They might as well complain about the color of the sky.

You stay classy SC!

Brian Cushing, New Jersey native and Southern Cal certified, douchebag following the riveting defeat of Notre Dame:

"They weren't going anywhere, and they knew it. It was just a matter of time before they were deflated."

Do you think Mr. Cushing is aware that Notre Dame is practically a high school team at this point?

Shut your mouth you classless lout.

By the way, great photo. It's Garden State white trash at its finest.

BTW

At the halfway point here in November, Wisconsin Head Coach Bret Bielma is still the leader in the clubhouse as far as 'Moron of the Month' is concerned.

How many weeks of vacation do you get anyway?

So...been 15 days.

Having some technical issues again. The central nerve center of this high tech operation, A.K.A. "Deep Blue", which is actually a 10-year-old eMachine and total piece of crap, has been on the fritz.

Microcenter and Michigan week seem to have us back in the saddle though. I hope.

Moron of the Month

It's only November 2nd, but I'm confident that no one is going to top one of the worst coaching decisions I've ever seen any time soon.

Wisconsin head coach Bret Bielema is the Moron of the Month until further notice. He might be Moron of the Millennium if he keeps this up.

Bielema's team has gone from a Top Ten ranking earlier this season to the bottom of the Big Ten in roughly one month. Wow.

Another ridiculous loss yesterday at Michigan State.

First, Bielema gave the Spartans a short field that resulted in a quick score after he decided to mouth off to an official before a kick-off. Nice example you're setting for your team douchebag. It's really surprising that they would be penalized roughly 800 times for 121 yards yesterday. That particular moment of lunacy was nothing compared to the complete and total ineptitude that was displayed at the end of the game.

Michigan State needed a field goal to win the game and got the ball back with little time left on the clock. The Spartans managed to drive down the field and get themselves in position to attempt a 44-yard field goal.

With no timeouts, MSU was rushing their field goal kicking unit onto the field to try and get the kick off before the game ended. There were approximately 15 seconds left on the clock.

So of course, Bret Bielema calls timeout. That's right, Wisconsin's head coach bailed out Michigan State by stopping the clock while they were desperately attempting to get the field goal off.

Then, he called timeout again.

Genius.

So now you have insured that you have given the opposing kicker not only plenty of time to get the kick lined up, but also time to check the wind speed and his horoscope. MORON!

Of course, Michigan State drained the field goal and Wisconsin lost the game.

It's the beginning of the end for Bielema. His team is incredibly disappointing this year and he no longer has Barry Alvarez' players on his roster.

I think he's probably gone after next year.

Back in the heart of Buckeye Nation...

It's been an eventful couple of weeks.

Myself and my entourage (two cats and one fiancee) have setup shop a stone's throw from The Ohio State University. Who says you can't go home again?

Our journey was rewarded today. The Great Pumpkin delivered a Halloween "Holy Shit!" as the Bengals got their first win of the season against Jacksonville. The perfect season is ruined.

However, this didn't stop the Cincinnati Enquirer's Paul Daugherty from excoriating one of the worst sports franchise owners on the planet, Mike Brown.

The last of the last for the time being...

- Unfortunately Notre Dame didn't lose yesterday. They also didn't play.

- Michigan is 2-5, and I'm laughing my ass off.

- What in God's name happened to Wisconsin? Faint dreams of a national title run have turned quickly into a 3-4 record and tied for LAST in the Big Ten. Wow. Brett Bielma, here comes the heat.

- Did anyone else see the ref make the tackle last night in the Texas-Mizzou game? I've seen refs get run over many, many times but I've never seen one bow-up and drop the runner. That was ridiculous. If I was that player I would have asked for the ball again on the next play and run that clown over.

- When are coaches going to learn that icing the kicker doesn't work. Especially not in the pro's. I saw it again today. Whoever that idiot is that's now coaching the Raiders thought he was pretty smart, just like so many others have before him.

The Jets are lining up for a 52-yard-kick with less then ten seconds remaining in regulation and this fucking moron calls timeout as the ball is snapped. Of course, Jets kicker Jay Feeley doinks it off the upright.

"Thanks for the practice kick coach, I appreciate it."

Sure enough, the second kick was right down the middle.

Has that EVER worked? Serious? How fucking stupid are these guys? Why give them a practice kick, why not make them hurry up to get the kick off?

Hopefully someone will come up with a way to determine definitively that this maneuver NEVER works.

Unfortunately fate didn't dole out punishment, the Raiders were able to win the game in OT.

- I find nothing remarkable about pro football this year. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the fact that the Bengals are an utter abomination. College football's still got it all over pro football though. Not that this should come as a shock to anyone.

- And finally, the Bengals perfect season is still intact. It looks like Carson Palmer is going to be done for the season. No way the Bagels pull off the 0-fer though, they'll screw it up at some point along the way.

The real question is, if the Bengals didn't win a game, would Mike Brown fire Marvin Lewis? I say no.

Bengals

Ratings bonanza!

The Fox exec's just threw up in their mouths a little bit. Tampa Devil Rays vs. the Philadelphia Phillies in the World Series. It's that old Tampa-Philly rivalry once again. FEEL THE INTENSITY!

Of course, this is what you get when you have a multi-round tournament instead of picking two teams arbitrarily to play for it all. The Rays and the Phillies. Sweet!

Admittedly, I would have had a lot more interest in the WS with either the Dodgers or Red Sox in the mix. It's only fitting that both were left out though. Manny Ramirez is a colossal buffoon and who in God's name wants to see Boston win anything else, ever, anytime soon? Seriously, fuck those guys with a shovel.

I will likely be pulling for Philly since I'm a National League guy and because no team that averages 15K fans at best during the regular season deserves to win a title. They couldn't even open up the 'extra' seating until the ALCS for crying out.

On a slightly different note, I saw something really weird last night. I'm flipping through the guide and I see Game Six of the ALCS listed as being from 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM eastern. Seriously, 8-10? When was the last time a playoff baseball game lasted only two hours? Game Five was over four hours and it was only nine innings!

The good stuff, Part II...

How about the true freshman quarterback waving his arms and telling the home crowd "bring it on" early in the game? Damn does this kid scream 'confidence'.

Here's a great quote from the opening of Mitch Albom's Detroit Free Press column:

EAST LANSING — The weather was perfect, the stadium was packed and the whole town was pounding with green-and-white optimism.

And then the game started.

And Ohio State pulled the Spartans’ pants down.

Good stuff Mitch!

- I asked for the Buckeyes to boot out TP and have him throw to the TE if he was there. Guess what? It worked. It doesn't matter that Brandon Smith was primarily lined up at fullback, it's the same concept. Terrelle was 'thinking' nearly as much yesterday and it showed. I also liked that they ran plays specifically with his legs in mind. That's what we need out of TP right now.

- The numerous shots of dejected MSU fans were outstanding! They all looked like someone just told them 'there is no Easter bunny'.

- Once the Buckeyes took a 28-0 lead into halftime I thought we'd see a healthy dose of Maurice Wells in the second half with the Spartans trying to claw their way back. I even went as far to say "Michigan State will win the second half, 17-3." Obviously I was wrong. And man am I glad that's the case.

- I think that either Beanie Wells or TP may have just stiff-armed another MSU defender. I checked the stat sheet, the Buckeyes threw 132 guys in green to the ground yesterday.

- Malcolm-motherfuckin'-Jenkins, the pride of Piscatway, NJ is having himself a hell of a season. He's fast, he's physical, and no one on the OSU roster is playing with more confidence right now. Man is that guy a total mother or what?

- And finally, best play of the game yesterday without a doubt, Thaddeus Gibson LITERALLY pulling a touchdown out of Sparty's ass. Absolutely fuckin' hilarious. "Thank you sir, I will lift this ball right off your ass and take it to the house." The old ass-ball does in Michigan State yet again.

The good stuff...

Despite what you may have read in the last post, which was full of bad Buckeye bullet points, the boys in scarlet and gray had one of the better performances we've seen in well over a year yesterday.

It starts of course with the 'Beanie Hop'.

Coach Tressel was of course trying to setup the field goal but MSU's defense was so pathetic that they couldn't even help out. Instead Chris Wells took it to the house and finished it off with a stylish leap into the endzone. Gotta love it.

Final thoughts...

Posting will be fairly limited for the next week or so while the family (pictured) moves corporate headquarters from Jersey City to the heart of Buckeye Nation, Columbus. Before Level 6 goes dark though I'll offer up a few thoughts.

Awesome win for the Buckeyes yesterday in East Lansing. Haven't seen one like that in quite awhile. We certainly haven't seen it this season and I'm not sure we saw it all of last season either. I'll put it this way, we weren't up by four touchdowns at halftime against any ranked teams last year.

Unfortunately that game was called by some of the biggest douchebags in all of sports yesterday. Brad Nessler and Bob Griese used to be a couple of my favorites. However, they've been reduced to rodeo clown status by that colossal shithead Paul McGuire. What an utter fuckball that guy is. I guess there is a reason they frequently make him call games from the parking lot or the next town over. Tony Kornheiser looks like Howard Cossel compared to Paul-effing-McGuire.

Even those guys are tolerable when the Buckeyes have it going on all cylinders though. Almost everything went their way yesterday, save for the following:

- With Ben Person getting benched I guess Jimmy Cordle took it upon himself to handle the 'early false start' duties. Damn are those annoying.

- The offensive play-calling was outstanding yesterday for the most part. Funny how that seems to be the case when the Buckeyes are dominating both lines of scrimmage. However, the worst call I saw was once again handing it to Chris Wells on 3rd and 1. That is simply not going to work. Everyone and their mother knows that Beanie's getting the rock and the offensive line can't get a push when there are 11 guys inside the box. Can we please get a little more creative on 3rd or 4th and 1?

- Ray effing Small. I'm sorry, for a guy that has returned as many kicks as he has there is no excuse for fumbling like he did. That could have been a HUGE momentum shift in the game and we got bailed out by Austin Spitler somehow getting to the ball before the two MSU guys even though they were much closer when it hit the turf. I can't believe that some thought Ray Small was the next Ted Ginn Jr. He's at least two steps slower then Teddy.

- And speaking of special teams, what gives with the Buckeyes' kickoff coverage? We can't seem to get the ball into the endzone and we appear to be giving up tons of yardage on those returns. In the second half Ohio State went to the pooch kickoff in an apparent attempt to limit the returns. For all of Ohio State's success these past few years kickoffs either way have not been a strength.

If anyone can find special teams stats by team I'd love to seem them for the current season. I can't find it.

- Terrelle Pryor had a pretty damn good game but at some point here he's going to have to figure out how to get rid of the ball instead of taking the sack. He lines up in the shotgun, then drops back, then gets sacked. He's losing about seven yards a pop. That's never good.

- We all know that MSU Head Coach Dantonio and Tressel are friends. I'm not sure Tress' needed to go as far as to apologize for the last touchdown Ohio State scored? That's essentially what he did when he stated in the postgame presser, "I wish it wouldn't have happened." Please coach, it's not like the Buckeyes dropped 80 on the Spartans. For the record it was a defensive touchdown, OSU wasn't throwing deep bombs or anything.

- Myself and others are convinced that the deep ball that Pryor threw after the Buckeyes were up by several touchdowns was Tressel's way of telling the opposition, 'we're still going to go deep'. Except of course, there wasn't an OSU receiver within 20 yards of the pass. What are the chances that Tressel told Pryor "Just throw it deep, I know there won't be any receiver running a deep route on this play but throw it deep anyway." Only Jim Tressel could figure out how go play-action fake with a fake deep ball.

- And finally, I used to think Tress' favorite play was the punt. I was wrong. It's third and long with the lead. No down and distance screams 'setup the kick' like third and long when Tressel has a bit of cushion.

"Third and long again? YES. Let's run a draw for Beanie. Kicking team get ready."

Speaking of Mark Sanchez...

'Chez took down another Cougar on Saturday. No, not the kind of cougars he's usually hunting. This time it was Washington State University Cougars.

The Trojans whipped Wazzu 69-0 today.

Wow.

HOWEVER, before everyone gets all gooey over this one, let me hit you with the following statistic:

Washington State has given up more then 63 points FOUR TIMES so far this season. That's FOUR OUT OF SEVEN GAMES they've given up over 60.

The Cougars are literally the worst college football team in FBS this year.

Let's not give the Trojans too much credit on this one.